


Waiting For You

by littlemisst0rment



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Childhood Friends, F/M, I'm going to be adding on as I go, Like serious angst at times, So yeah, With EVERYTHING, and fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-17
Updated: 2015-09-23
Packaged: 2018-04-15 03:43:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4591689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemisst0rment/pseuds/littlemisst0rment
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“To say that Bellamy doesn’t remember his first encounter with The Griffins would be a total lie. It had been late spring, about a year after Octavia was born, when they moved to the neighborhood. It took about a week for the three to make their rounds to meet The Blakes. It wasn’t like in the movies and in the shows where they came up to the doorstep, holding out a pie or a plant and just an introduction. No, with The Griffins it’s more than that.”</p><p>*I AM SO SORRY FOR DROPPING THIS, BUT OFFICIALLY IS*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Bellarke fic and I'm honestly not sure how long it's going to be. So I hope you guys enjoy it.

It's said that if you love something, let it go. But when your life was turned right side up by this "something," the hardest thing is to let go.

.:*:.

Bellamy Blake has only cared about one thing in life, his sister. Ever since the day she came into this world, he would always stay by her side no matter how old she got. To him, their five year age difference meant nothing. So when Aurora got sick in the middle of his senior year, he dropped what he was doing just so he can help. He got his GED, started working a second job. Anything to start paying for doctors' appointments, medicine, food, clothes, all kinds of bills. Both Bellamy and Aurora had agreed to wait to tell Octavia when the school year was over.

That summer, the both of the Blake’s stayed at home, turning down invitations to be elsewhere (much to their mother's disagreements and constant nagging), but that's how they preferred it.

Aurora was getting worse. She has been involved in blood transfusions and chemotherapy for months on end. Her skin paler, much more fragile that it was. She could barely hold herself up, her body so thin that it physically hurt her. She was suffering. When she became unresponsive during a blood transfusion mid-July and came back, that's when her doctor knew there wasn't going to be much time left.

He gave her options. Stay with the chemotherapy that was controlling the cancer but making her very ill, or stop the chemo and let nature run its course. That day, Aurora was sent home unregretful in her decision.

August 23th of that year, the two children lost their mother. Bellamy, eighteen at the time took custody over his thirteen year old sister.

.:*:.

Clarke cared about her art the most. Yes, her mother has always been set on her being in the medical field, just like herself. But Jake Griffin had always told her to do what she does best. Rebel.

Jake and Abby Griffin had a picture perfect marriage. Almost no fights, played around, had date nights, went out with friends. They were living like they had promised each other they would. The two were high school sweethearts. They were together since freshman year, sharing many classes together as well as interests. They were inseparable. When Jake proposed on stage during his graduation speech, there was not a single dry eye in the audience. And once she said yes, it lead to an uproar. Everyone knew that even though they wouldn't be married for a few years, their vows will last them a lifetime.

Abby Griffin had Clarke the year she turned 22. Her and Jake had tried for one or two more after her, but Clarke was "their miracle," as doctors put it, leaving her to be an only child.

They spoiled her wholeheartedly, giving all they could for her when they were able to considering bother were in grad school now, Abby to become a doctor and Jake to become an engineer. They were following their dreams with their daughter along side them.

As Clarke grew older, she knew she was loved and cared for and she never took advantage of it. When asked for holidays or her birthday what he wanted, she never asked for much, mainly just art supplies. She played with all her toys, ate all her food, loved all the clothes she was given (no matter if it was her “style” or not at the time). No matter how old Clarke Griffin got, she would always hug her parents, telling them that she loved them. As she got older and got a cell phone, she would always keep them up to date on what was going on, informing them that she was safe and still alive.

She would hang around the hospital with Abby, helping her cater to the patients’ needs. It was one Saturday that she was there during the winter with Abby when they got the call from the emergency room just floors below.

Jake Griffin had gotten into an accident on his way to come see them for lunch. He was crossing an intersection when an oncoming car had hit a patch of black ice and lost control of their car. Both driver were found dead on the scene, the paramedics getting there just moments too late.

January of her fourteenth year, Clarke Griffin lost not one, but two parents that afternoon.


	2. Chapter 1: First Encounters

Chapter 1: First Encounters

Fourteen Years Ago

 

To say that Bellamy doesn’t remember his first encounter with The Griffins would be a total lie. It was late spring, about a year after Octavia was born, when they moved to the neighborhood. It took about a week for the three to make their rounds to meet The Blakes. It wasn’t like in the movies and in the shows where they came up to the doorstep, holding out a pie or a plant and just an introduction. No, with The Griffins it’s more than that.

 

Bellamy, only six at the time, opens the door when the knocking started (Aurora was in the middle of changing Octavia, so he had no other choice). When he opened the door, there stood two smiling faces looking down at him and a small blonde girl hiding her face in the crook of the man’s neck.

 

“Hi there,” the woman says, crouching down to his size, “is your mom or dad home?” Bellamy is only able to nod his head in response. “Would you mind if we had a word?”

 

“Bellamy,” a voice yells from around the corner, “how’s there?” Aurora arrives at the door, looking shocked at first, then welcoming the three in. “Aurora Blake,” she introduces, holding out her hand.

 

“Abby Griffin,” the woman shook her hand first, Bellamy notices, so the man can shift the blonde child so he had a free hand. “And this is my husband Jake.”

 

“And who’s this cutie?” Aurora asks sweetly, giving her full attention to the girl after shaking the man’s hand. “How old is she?”

 

“This is Clarke,” the man states. “Can you tell Aurora your age, Sweetie?” Clarke peeks out from her father’s neck, holding up four fingers.

 

Bellamy stands up taller at the information, knowing that he’s older than her. At the age of six, he’s more wiser, has more wisdom. Well…as much wisdom as a six year old has.

 

“Bellamy Blake,” he finally introduces himself to the other family. “Six years old.” He adds smugly, making sure that the other girl knows that he’s the older one meaning that he’s in charge.

 

“Well it’s nice to meet you, Bellamy,” the woman crouches down again and holds out her hand to which he shakes.

 

“Would you guys like to stay for coffee?” Aurora offers. “Or maybe tea?”

 

“Well,” the man starts, “we actually came over here to invite you guys to dinner.”  
  
“On us,” the wife adds.

 

Aurora just shakes her head. “Oh dear no. I wouldn’t want to impose on you guys at all.” After much insisting the The Griffin’s side, she finally gives in. They wait until all of The Blakes got ready, suggesting that they should take two separate cars so when they kids are tired, they can go back to their own homes. The woman had told his mother for them to dress casual since they aren’t going anywhere fancy. The mother is dressed in paint splattered overalls and a plain t-shirt underneath with sneakers on, and the father dressed similarly wearing painted jeans, a red t-shirt, sneakers, and his hat turned backwards. The one sticking out from them was the girl. She’s dressed in a frilly blue dress that poofed out a bit and black sneakers.

 

So, he decides to dress a little nicer than he intended. He puts on his favorite pair of jeans, one of his only collared shirts, and his newest pair of shoes. He tries his best at brushing his hair a bit, but only ended up making his curls puff out (to which Aurora laughed and fixed up for him). “All set,” Bellamy calls out when he enters the family room where The Giffin’s were watching over his sister as the other two got ready. He had notices that even Clarke was playing with her.

 

“Well then let’s go,” the man suggests as he stand up.

 

.:*:.

 

Over dinner, there’s a lot of talking going on between the adults. Aurora had learned that Jake and Abby had been together for so long now that they still get surprised that they haven’t gotten sick of each other yet. She also learned that Jake has a master’s in engineering and that he specialized in electrical and that in college he had minored in carpentry. He is currently running his own business quite successfully. She had learned that Abby is an excellent radiologist at the local hospital. She had gone through many different fields in the hospital and found one that she loved. “It’s hard,” she admits. “You build relationships with these people and when you lose a patient who has been fighting for so long and so hard, it’s devastating. But when someone wins their fight, being there and knowing that you helped is one of the most rewarding feelings.

 

The Griffin’s learned that Aurora is a single mother. Through the hushed whispers he can hear his mother mentioning his and Octavia’s father, making him sit up straighter as they continued talking. They had learned that Aurora moved here on whim. “It was one of the cheapest places that I was able to find on such short notice,” she told them. They learned that she was a licensed therapist, who also worked as an ER nurse part time. She had found a job out here before moving. And as it turned out, both women found out that they were working at the same hospital.

 

But the adults didn’t just learn about each other, they got the kids involved as well. Bellamy started to call them Mr. and Mrs. Griffin. He told them about how in the fall he’s going to be starting kindergarten and he was very excited to be starting, how he named Octavia after Augustus’ sister (he was big into The History Channel), and that he helps take very good care of his younger sister. Clarke opened up, actually talking instead of cuddling up to her father. She spoke of how that day was her birthday and she wore her new favorite dress. She spoke of art (most of which was just about coloring books) as she doodled on her placemat with the given small pack of crayons. She drew butterflies and flowers and stick people all around it.

 

When dessert rolled around, the wait staff came out of the kitchen holding a small piece of chocolate cake topped off with some vanilla ice cream and a single candle. Bellamy noticed the way that her eyes had lit up at the snack, which had caused a smile to form on his face. After the staff sang their own version of “Happy Birthday,” Clarke had made sure that everyone at the table had a small piece of the cake before she ate the rest herself.

 

When the bill came, Aurora kept insisting to help pay, but The Griffin’s weren’t having it. “It’s our treat,” they kept telling her, “we told you that when we first invited you out.” Aurora finally gave in, but she helped with the tip. It was about eight-thirty when they left, the parents were still talking and exchanging numbers with Octavia on Aurora’s hip and Clarke on her own mother’s.

 

They all stopped when they got to their own cars followed by hugs and promises of letting each other know that they got home safely. When the parents weren’t paying attention, Bellamy had given a hug to Clarke as well. “Happy birthday, Princess,” he whispered to her and added a kiss to her cheek. She blushed and nodded her head in response.

 

“Goodnight, Bellamy,” both the man and woman said to him, crouching down and giving him unexpected hugs to which he returned.

 

.:*:.

 

“I had fun,” Bellamy announces to Aurora with a small yawn when he gets into bed that night.

 

“I did too, Sweetie,” she smiles down at him as she settled into her spot next to him, getting ready to continue in her book where she left off for him. “And we will from now on. I promise.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm basically adding tonight that I've already written and have posted on Tumblr


	3. Chapter 2: Family Traditions

Chapter 2: Family Traditions

Ten Years Ago

 

Clarke has always loved spending time with The Blakes. Weekend dinners, babysitting, birthdays at “their” diner, and more recently, holidays. Yes, she was shy when she first had met them, but that all changed after that dinner four years ago, that dinner where her and Bellamy’s goodbye has stayed a secret. The two families had created their own traditions, and the two kids had started their own. On their birthdays every year Clarke and Bellamy depart with a sweet goodbye and a small kiss on the cheek.

 

The two were never really affected by this little “tradition,” they thought it normal once they saw both Jake and Abby giving a kiss on Aurora’s cheek as a way of saying goodbye. They just never... did it in front of anyone is all. And only on each other’s birthdays.

 

But now August is ending, which means school is starting. The last few months will just be of a memory. The two sharing secrets under a makeshift fort, Bellamy teaching Clarke about mythology through the books his mother used to read to him, Clarke teaching him how to draw the “most perfect” flower.

 

It was sometime in July while they were under the fort, sticking their heads out to watch some documentary that Bellamy had put on. “Y’know,” he says suddenly as he stares at the screen, “I’m two years older than you.”

 

“And?” Clarke questions.

 

He looks at her finally and after a beat he continues, “That means I’ll be out of school before you are. And before, Octavia, too.”

 

“Isn’t, Octavia, doing half days at school?” Clarke asks, making sure she doesn’t have her information wrong. “What?” she gets offended when he chuckles at her.

 

“I’ll be an adult before you are,” he explains. When Clarke’s face falls from anger to disappointment, he reassures her by saying, “I’ll wait for you.”

 

.:*:.

 

“C’mon,” Jake whines, holding up a camera.

 

“Bell,” Aurora snaps at him once he groans, “it’s your sister’s first day of school. Let Mr. Griffin take your picture.”

 

Bellamy finally gives in, frown on his face and grumbling. They were in the front yard of The Blake’s house, about ten minutes left until the three kids had to catch the bus. Octavia is finally six, meaning that she starts kindergarten. She stands there with a huge smile on her face, wearing a frilly black dress and little Mary Janes. That morning Octavia woke up Aurora around five, only giving her about an hour of sleep since she got home from her shift in the emergency room. Octavia begged and begged and begged for Aurora to braid her hair after she got out of her bath. So there she stands in front of the sunflowers towering over her in the pictures that Jake is taking - a hobby of his.

 

Ever since Bellamy turned ten back in March, he’s started to go through his rebellious stage. He was entering fifth grade, finishing up intermediate school. “He’s growing up,” Aurora sighed one night to her best friends over dinner while the kids watched TV in their family room. “It’s happening all too soon.”

 

They have five minutes left until the bus is to arrive and it’s about a three minute walk so they stop with the pictures and head down the road. Octavia humming one of the songs that Aurora used to sing to her at night before she switched to stories the year before. Her two kids must’ve taught it to Clarke because she can hear the foreign words softly roll off of her tongue as perfectly as they could for an eight year old. _What doesn’t she know from these two?_ Aurora thinks, trying to keep her laugh to herself. But once the two other adults gave her a look that says that they were thinking the same exact thing she was, she let out a hearty laugh. Once her kids looked at her weird, it built up and it had Jake and Abby joining in. When they got to their bus stop, the other adults from their road even gave them strange looks unless they actually knew the families, then they just shook their heads.

 

When the bus to pick up both the elementary and intermediate kids up stopped in front of the large group, Aurora squats down to her kids’ height. “Now we better behave,” she directs to Bellamy not so jokingly. “It’s the first day. No fighting, keep your hands to yourselves, and protect each other. Clarke already said that she’ll sit with Octavia on the bus to school since they’re in the same building. Bellamy, on the way home, make sure Clarke is okay.” She gives them one last hug before she sends them off, reminding Octavia that she’ll be waiting for her here in the afternoon. She rushes to give Clarke her own hug before the bus takes off without them.

 

“Are you ready to sleep?” Abby asks as all of the parents watch the bus roll down the hill on to the next stop.

 

“Oh, God,” her friend groans, feeling her exhaustion settle in, “ _yes_.”

 

.:*:.

 

Octavia has a pretty strong grip on Clarke’s hand on the way to school, both because of the noise and rowdiness on the bus along with her nerves. Going over one of the potholes made her a little too scared and her grip tightened, but Clarke didn’t complain once through the ride. She applied pressure back, talked to her about her teacher because she had her as well three years ago. “I’ll walk you to your class, okay?” Clarke suggests to the younger girl. “I want to say ‘hi’ to Mrs. Rose.” Octavia’s hand loosened at the request, smile growing.

 

The two don’t see Bellamy throughout the ride until they’re pulling into the parking lot at the elementary school and then he’s suddenly in the already full seat next to them. When he gets a reaction from the three kids sitting there, he just glares and they let down. “You both know where you’re going, right?” He suddenly gets serious.

 

“Yes, Dad,” the two girls say at the same time making him glare at them now as they giggle.

 

“I’m walking Octavia to her classroom,” Clarke reassures him. “And I’ve explored the school and was here for the meeting my mom and dad were here for a few weeks ago. Do _you_ know where you’re going, Bell?”

 

He scoffs. “Of course I do.” When the bus halts to a stop, he tells them both to have a good day with a quick hug. “Sit towards the middle in the afternoon, Clarke,” he tells her.

 

.:*:.

 

“Clarke!” Mrs. Rose exclaims when she sees her holding hands with Octavia. “What brings you to our neck of the woods today?”

 

“I’m helping a friend out,” she explains with a big smile on her face. “This is Octavia Blake, she’s in your class this year.”

 

“Oh how wonderful!” The teacher claps. “Well c’mon in, c’mon in,” she directs to Octavia. The two girls say their goodbyes with promises of seeing each other in the afternoon. “Goodbye, Clarke. Thank you for helping out a new addition to our ‘family.’”

 

“It’s no problem, Mrs. Rose,” she gives the lady a hug as well. “I’ll see you tomorrow as well.” And with that she was off to the other end of the building where the third grade classes were.

 

.:*:.

 

Bellamy takes a deep breathe as he enters the familiar school. He finds some of his friends that he had class with the year before hand in a small group. When he reaches them, they all do special handshakes and “bro hugs” before catching up on their summers.

 

“I hung out with my dad at the station,” Nathan Miller shrugs, sharing first. “I mean, I got to ride in the cop car a few times. That and baseball.”

 

“I went on a few fishing trips when my dad had custody the last month,” John Murphy tells them proudly. “My ‘rents living in two different areas is pretty sick.”

 

“Yeah, but how were the girls?” Kyle Wick asks absentmindedly.

 

Murphy makes a motion with his and just goes, “Eh.”

 

“What about you, Blake?” Miller asks.

 

Bellamy’s mind goes back to the amount of time that he spent with Clarke and Octavia, but mainly Clarke. Between them making up stories, building forts, climbing trees. The art, the mythology, the dinners. “Nothing really,” he tells them. And he’s not lying. These are all pretty normal things that goes on between him and Clarke. But then again, his friends only know her as one of his neighbors, not his best friend. Whenever they come over to The Blake’s house and Clarke is there, he lies and tells them that she’s there for Octavia while the four of them hide in Bellamy’s room. He’s not afraid of being teased by them, he’s not ashamed by her. It’s nothing like that. He just...likes to keep what they have in private. “Who do you guys have?” He asks, changing the topic.

 

As it turns out, all of them shared the same class again (God bless the teachers from the past years). So they followed the signs pointing to where the fifth grade hallway was. When they got to the end of the hallway and into their classroom, they were greeted with a grumpy “Hello,” from their teacher. It didn’t seem that he had bothered with assigning seats so the four took a table to themselves.

 

“Is that everyone?” The man asked no one in particular.

 

 _This is going to be fun_ , Bellamy thought as his head fell against his desk.

 

.:*:.

 

Clarke did as Bellamy asked and sat towards the middle of the bus for him. Seat sixteen, to be exact. When he got on with his friends, he walked past her and sat in the seat behind her. She will admit that she was both confused and hurt at the notion. Did she do something? Did she say something? Maybe it was because she’s two years younger, just like what Bellamy said in July? She hears him making jokes with his friends behind her and she tries her best not cry. But the do fall and she just pretends to sleep.

 

When Clarke feels the seat next to her, she ignores it. She ignores him. After a few beats of silence, Bellamy tries talking to her. “Clarke?” He pokes her arm. “Are you really asleep? Clarke?” When she doesn’t respond, he sighs and gives up. But he never moves from his spot next to her.

 

When they get to their bus stop, Clarke yawns and stretches, acting as if she just woke up. She doesn’t speak a word to the boy until they depart at his house. Or what Clarke thought was a departure. She forgot about one of their many traditions together where The Griffins would stay over right away for dinner, celebrating the huge accomplishment the kids had just made. “Family traditions” as they all liked to call them.

 

Bellamy was confused when Clarke barely spoke to him, mainly spending her time with Octavia. He followed her around like a lost puppy, and that didn’t go unnoticed by the adults. So after some dinner, The Griffins said their goodnights to the other family. “I’ll let you know what I find out in the morning,” Abby whispers to her friend as they hug.

 

Ever the gentleman, Bellamy helped Clarke with her backpack even though she still didn’t say a word but a clipped goodbye without a hug.

 

.:*:.

 

“What happened, Sweetie?” Abby asks her daughter while helping her balance her weight on the curb as they walk down to their house.

 

Clarke huffs, not wanting to trouble her parents with something silly. So instead, she asks, “Did I say something weird to, Bellamy?”

 

“What do you mean, C?” Jake questions, confusion written all over his and his wife’s faces. But once Clarke explained what had happened on the bus, they finally understood the situation. “Don’t you have other friends besides, Bell?” Her dad asks. When she nods her head, he continues. “Well, if they were on the same bus as you, wouldn’t you want to sit and talk with them, too?”

 

Clarke takes a moment to think it over. If Wells was on her bus, she would probably sit with him instead of Bellamy so they could have the chance to talk about their summer and to make plans. “Yeah,” she admits, “I guess so.”

 

The first thing Clarke does in the morning when the families meet up is hug Bellamy. He’s taken by surprise at first then returns the pressure, making sure to squeeze her. “I’m sorry,” she whispers.

 

.:*:.

 

September comes and goes, October making it’s way into town. The green leaves turning into crimson, gold, and orange before making their way to the ground. The last of the summer breeze turned into a crisp chill. Shorts and t-shirts are switched out for pants and sweatshirts. Clarke’s favorite time of the year. The beauty, the smells, the colors, all of it. Plus she prefered it to be on the colder side and not die just walking down the street with her parents to their friends’ house.

 

One morning, Aurora greets the family outside her house with some warm apple cider to drink before heading out to the bus. They were able to hear Octavia cough from the floor above. “She’s just got a chest cold,” she reassures Clarke who has worry written all over her face. “But today she isn’t going to school.”

 

Clarke’s face falls and says a little, “Okay,” in response, wondering who she’s going to sit with. “Can I go see her?”

 

“Go right ahead, Love,” Aurora practically pushes her out of the room. “And tell, Bellamy, to come down with you!” She yells after her. Aurora chuckles and turns around. “They worry too much.”

 

“They take after us,” Abby laughs with her, knowing that working in the medical field can do that to you.

 

“Did you and Jake ever find out what happened last month?” Aurora asks, sitting in the chair across from Abby. “When I asked Bellamy, he never had a clue. And I still don’t think that he does.”

 

Abby relays what Clarke told her and her husband that night. “She was just upset was all. But when Jake and I talked to her, she understood why he ‘ignored’ her.”

 

“He’s growing up,” Aurora sighs once again, slouching in her seat. “ _Shit_ ,” she curses. “It’s October.” Abby lifts an eyebrow, her only way of communication while she sips at the cider. “Halloween,” she deadpans, to which Abby groans with her.

 

They’re neighborhood is like right right out of a cheesy movie. Every year on the Fourth of July, there’s a huge block party where it’s nice because everyone gets together and enjoy everyone’s company. In November, there’s usually a giant neighborhood Thanksgiving, helping out those families in need and couldn’t get their own turkeys for the holiday. But October and December were the worst. Decorations, competitions. If you don’t go all out for Halloween and for Christmas, you were practically shunned out, not talked to until the New Year’s party. Aurora never really minded it really, she’s fine with her small group of adult friends. But this year now that Octavia is older, she’s going to want to actually join in and help decorate. Plus the amount of candy that the prize is? She’ll be very determined.

 

Abby groans because her daughter is too much like Jake. Artistic and competitive. The year before, Clarke suggested painting their house black and making it sparkle and glow in the dark. When she said no, her daughter went to the next adult, Jake. Who almost agreed with her until Abby ignored him for the weekend. She just hopes that it doesn’t happen again this year.

 

Both mother’s train of thought were broken due to the feet rushing down the stairs. “We’ve got to go!” Bellamy yells. When Aurora looks down at her watch, she sees that they still have five minutes left until they need to leave. She curses that her son tends to be early, wanting to sit just a little longer.

 

“We’ll discuss what’s going on for Halloween,” Aurora suggests. “I’m probably going to be working that night so I might need to you have my troublemakers tag along with you.”

 

“C’mon!” Bellamy walks into the kitchen, dragging his mother from her seat and Clarke behind him doing the same to Abby. “We need to go! You two can talk while you walk.”

 

“Bell, dear,” Aurora picks him up, knowing he’ll hate it and he’ll stop. “I need to stay behind to be with, O. Mrs. Griffin is walking with you two. So if anyone should be annoyed, it should be her.”

 

And he does just that, making Abby glare at her best friend. “I hate you,” she flat out tells her, causing Clarke to gasp and drop her arm.

 

“That was rude,” the younger girl scorns her mother, to which Abby actually flinches. After Abby, apologizes to both of them they get up to leave.

 

“Stupid traditions,” Abby mumbles to Aurora before she leaves the kitchen to follow the kids.

 

 


	4. Chapter 3: Crash Into Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentioning of drugs, Major-ish character death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is really long but I decided to shorten it up. It was also harder for me to write towards the end in all honesty.

Chapter 3: Crash Into Me

Four Years Ago

 

Clarke was in love. Clarke Griffin, a freshman in high school, was in love.

 

She had met Finn Collins in November while she was tutoring, Jasper, in one of the science rooms that detention was held in. He kept looking over at her and at first she got annoyed. She was _tutoring_ and she needed to _focus_. She didn’t need some boy staring at her. She knew that she developed pretty well, puberty being nice to her unlike some other people. But then she needed to start tutoring _him_. She moaned and groaned at the thought. But then they got to know each other. And she started to fall for him.

 

“I don’t like him,” Bellamy brought up one day to Clarke when she went to go meet up with Finn to tutor. When Clarke rolls her eyes at him, he grows more protective. “He’s in and out of detention, Clarke. He’s not a good influence.”

 

“He can’t hurt a fly, Bell,” she explains. “And anyway, aren’t _you_ going to detention?” She quirks an eyebrow as Bellamy blushes slightly at the accusation.

 

“Okay, yeah,” he admits. “But I’m not in there every _week_.”

 

“Whatever, Bell,” Clarke sighs. “I’m not your little sister. You don’t have a say in who I end up liking.”

 

Bellamy has to stop himself from saying, “I know you aren’t” to her. Clarke wasn’t the only one in love. But Bellamy fell for Clarke long before he knew what it meant and he’s been dealing with it by ignoring it and hiding it. “She’s my little sister,” he’ll just explain to everyone. Which isn’t far from the truth when you see how close their families are. And when they see how protective he is over Octavia, they think that it’s the truth.

 

It’s now the beginning of December and Finn has met her parents and they’ve made it official. Everyone in the school knew that the two were dating, the two were practically attached at the hip.

 

It was one afternoon while they were on Finn’s bed when she asked, “So, why do some people call you ‘Spacewalker?’” When Finn gets uncomfortable, she pushes a little more. “C’mon, you can be honest with me.”

 

He sighs and tells her, chuckling. “At my last school, I was expelled because I came to school high off my mind and I thought that I was actually in outer space.”

 

Clarke sits up at the admission. “Drugs? That’s why?” She asks in a sharp tone. “And better yet, _how_ do people at this school know? Do you go around telling them all proud and amused?”

 

“Clarke it was months ago,” Finn tries to reason with her.

 

“Do you still come to school _high_?” She asks, looking almost hurt.

 

“ _God_ , Clarke,” he yells, “ _no_.”

 

“I just-” she stands up from his bed. “I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ll let you know when I get home.”

 

She’s crying when she calls Bellamy, asking him if he can come pick her up. She gives her location to him and hangs up. She sits on the bench for five minutes before he shows up in Aurora’s car. He hugs her then blasts the heat up for her, noticing her shivers. “Now,” he starts, breaking the silence, “what happened?”

 

“Drop it, Bell,” she deadpans, not wanting to hear an “I told you so” from him. “just...can we go to your house? My dad’s home and I’d rather him not see me like this.”

 

.:*:.

 

“Clarke?” Jake yells out from the kitchen. “That you?”

 

“Yeah, Dad,” she yells back. She stayed at The Blakes for almost two hours. She went straight to Octavia’s room and kicked Bellamy out. Octavia may only be ten, but they’ve talked about boys (even though Clarke tries to avoid it as much as she can). It calmed her down but what Finn said to her stayed in her mind. That he was that high at school. What could he even be on?

 

_“Do you want to look it up?” Octavia suggested, trying her best to help._

_It made Clarke smile for the first time while being there, “No,” she chuckled. “No thank you, O.” So instead they cuddled and took a nap, Clarke being exhausted from crying. When Bellamy knocked on the door around six, it woke the two up. “I should probably get home.”_

_“Do you want dinner?” Bellamy asks, dish towel thrown over his shoulder. “It should be almost ready.” When she denied the offer, he then told her that he’ll drive her._

_“No. Stay with, O,” she tells him seriously._

_“It’s dark out,” he informs her, worry not even hidden in his voice._

_“And thanks to you,” Clarke says as she slips her sweater back on, “I have mace, a pocket knife, and a kickass right hook. And not thanks to you, I have my phone, street lamps, and a house just down the street.”_

_“Just...let me know when you get home,” he demands softly._

_Clarke’s look softens as she wraps her scarf around her neck. “Who says that I wasn’t going to, Bell? I always do.”_

  
  


“What’s for dinner?” She asks Jake, walking up behind him to give him a quick hug. She may only be turning fourteen in a few months and still growing, but she got the short end of the stick when it comes to genes, literally. Jake towers over her at six foot-two inches while she’s a mere five foot and a half.

 

“Just finishing up the ziti,” he informs her, concentrating on shredding the perfect amount of cheese onto the pasta. “You’re mom should be home around nine, you should let her know you’re actually home.”

 

“Was just about to,” she lies as she reaches into her back pocket for her phone before sitting at the island behind the stove.

 

**Mom (6:15pm)  
** _**Just got home a little while ago** _

 

And before she forgets, she sends out two more messages.

 

**Bell (6:15pm)**  
__**I made it home alive and in one piece.**  
**Well…  
** **Minus the finger that broke off on the walk down here**

**Finn ♥ (6:16pm)  
** _**home.** _

****  
  


**Bell (6:18pm)**  
_Oh that’s what I found while following you_  
_Wait_  
_That sounded really creepy_  
_Ignore that._

 

Clarke can’t help but laugh, making Jake to give her a look. “Did your mom say something funny for once?”

 

**Bell (6:18pm)**  
_**Oh, that’s what that sound was  
** **I thought it was like in Spongebob and I was about to yell that I didn’t want to buy anything** _

 

“What?” Clarke questions after sending a reply to him. “Oh, no. It was just Bellamy.”

 

“Ahh,” Jake remarks, leaning on the island top in front of Clarke. “Thank explains it.”

 

When her phone goes off and Bellamy’s name shows up on the screen, Jake gives her a look saying _Are you going to get that_? She ignores her phone, staring off with her father before it goes off again, reminding her about the message. When the buzzer beeps a couple of minutes later is when she replies.

 

**Bell (6:24pm)**  
_Oh now that would’ve just been embarrassing  
_ _For you that is_

 

**Bell (6:25pm)**  
_**And you as well  
** _ _**Considering the fact that it was you that was doing the following** _

 

When her phone goes off with Finn’s name, she has to suppress the groan that wants to escape from her. She practically croaks, making Jake jump a bit, making the ziti fall of the serving spoon. “Sorry,” Clarke chuckles.

 

“Uh huh,” is her dad’s only response to it. “I’ll meet you in the living room. You get to choose what to watch before Jeopardy comes on.” And with that, he takes his beer and moves to the next room.

 

**Finn ♥ (6:25pm)**  
_Call me?  
_ _Pls?_

 

**Finn ♥ (6:28pm)  
** _**Can’t. With my dad** _

 

**Finn ♥ (6:28pm)**  
_Are u goin to stay mad at me?`_  
_It was the past  
_ _Pls Hear me out_

 

She ignores the rest of his messages, going for the ziti instead. She takes a water bottle out of the fridge and joins her dad on the couch. “Anything I want before I _dominate_ you in Jeopardy you said?” When her dad scoffs, she just changes the channel onto one of the shitiest reality shows she could find and left it on. It was one of her favorite past times with Jake, yelling at the stupidity it took to make a show like this, the obviously scripted fights, all of it. That is right behind competing against each other in Jeopardy.

 

Tonight it was Jake who had won due to Clarke betting all or nothing on final jeopardy and a topic she barely knew about (yes, they kept track like how they do on the show). Just when she thinks that she should have Bellamy tutor her in history, her dad voices the same exact words.

 

“I’m going to go upstairs and draw for a bit before bed,” Clarke tells her dad and gives him a kiss on the head. When she gets up to her room, she plugs her phone in and plops onto her mattress. She reaches under to grab her sketch pad to continue where she left off the night before. It was a drawing of her parents she was doing for their anniversary next month and she wants to get it perfect. She’s working on shading Abby’s face when her phones go off.

 

**Bell (7:45pm)  
** _So who won tonight?_

 

**Bell (7:46pm)**  
_**Dad.  
** **I bet all or nothing on final jeopardy** _

**Bell (7:46pm)  
** _Ouch. Topic?_

 

**Bell (7:46pm)**  
_**Promise you won’t judge?  
** _ _**Because you’re going to** _

**Bell (7:46pm)**  
_I cannot make any promises  
_ _Topic?_

 

**Bell (7:47pm)**  
__**It might’ve been about the Roman Empire?**  
**I can feel your glare from my room**  
**Bell?**  
**Bell?  
** **Bellamy?**

__  
  


**Bell (7:55pm)**  
_Are you_  
_Are you being serious?_  
_You_  
_I TAUGHT you ALL about the Romans. Literally everything  
_ _We’re doing tutoring again, I don’t care if you have the time or not_

 

**Bell (7:58pm)**  
_**I was going to ask you to anyway????  
** **Dork** _

**Bell (7:78pm)  
** _Rude!_

 

They continue talking and then she realizes that it’s close to nine-thirty, her mom popping her head in to say goodnight and to tell her that she as well got home. She says goodnight to Bellamy and continues on her drawing.

 

.:*:.

 

It takes a couple of days for Clarke and Finn to get back to normal, even then they start to skirt around each other. Clarke finds him one day during lunch fifth period behind the bleachers getting high with a few familiar faces in the cold afternoon.

 

“Are you fucking kidding me, Finn?” she refrains herself from yelling at the boy. “Are you _trying_ to get yourself caught?”

 

“Chill, Clarke,” Murphy, one of Bellamy’s friends, laughs. “It’s not like he’s going for another ‘spacewalk.’ All’s good.”

 

“Shut up, John,” Clarke snaps, calling him by his least prefered name. “Stay out of it.” She then turns back to her boyfriend. “I literally walk out of your room a _week_ ago because you told me that you went to your old school high out of your mind. And what are you doing now?” He was about to answer, not realizing it was rhetorical. When he whispers an, “Oh,” Clarke loses it. “I’m done, Finn. Let me know when you aren’t drinking or doing drugs.” With that, she walks away. So what if she cares? So what if she’s showing responsibility? So what if it makes her uncomfortable?

 

“Clarke,” Finn yells, running up to her, “wait up!”

 

“Leave me alone, Finn,” she groans in return.

 

“Listen to me,” he begs, “ _please_.” He catches up to her pretty quickly, tugging on her wrist. If he saw her flinch, he just ignored it. “I just want to talk.”

 

“And I don’t,” she exclaims, taking her arm out of his grip that tightened.

 

“Y’know,” he starts, glaring at her with his glassy eyes, “Raven’s never like this.”

 

Clarke stops trying to move away from him. She’s never heard the name, Raven, before so she’s confused. “ _Raven_?” she questions, face going hard. Why is some other girl being brought up? She knew that there have been others, but why now is someone being brought up?

 

“She’s-uh-she’s,” he stutters, not knowing how to explain. “She’s someone I grew up. Practically family.”

 

She relaxes a little because even though they’re fighting, she still trusts him. “Okay.”

 

.:*:.

 

The thing is, Raven was more than “practically family.” She showed up one day to school, looking for Finn. She was directed to one of the corners of the school where the couple had ended up claiming during lunch after their fight about a month earlier.

 

“ _Raven_?” Finn’s eyes go wide at the sight of the girl, glancing quickly at Clarke and then back to her. “What-what’re you doing here?”

 

“I go here now,” she explains, smile wide and eyes bright. When Finn stands to hug her, she goes in for a kiss. One that Finn doesn’t even try to dodge or deny. He just leans into it and kisses her back. When they part, Clarke can hear her whisper, “I missed that,” to him.

 

Clarke feels herself choke up and when she tries to clear it, it causes the other girl to say hi to her. “Hi,” Clarke says, giving her a lame wave.

 

“Who the fuck are you?” The girl glares at her, getting out of Finn’s grip. They both see the panic in his eyes which causes the glare to harden and turn to him. “Who the fuck is _she_?”

 

“Clarke Griffin,” the blonde introduces, standing up now and abandons her lunch, no longer able to eat. “And as I presume you’re, Raven?”

 

“Bitch,” Raven gets closer, “how do you even know about me when I don’t know who _you_ are?”

 

“Finn’s talked about you a couple of times,” Clarke informs her, looking confused. “So you two _aren’t_ close enough to be like siblings?”

 

“Did that kiss really make it look like that?” Raven scoffs at her. “Family, yeah. But we’re more than that.” Raven looks Clarke up and down, trying to put the pieces together. “I’m his girlfriend.”

 

Clarke looks over at Finn, hoping that he’s going to deny it, hoping that he’s going to say that she’s joking with her. But he just gives her an apologetic look. “I...I’ve got to go,” Clarke turns away and picks up her stuff. She then looks directly at Finn and speaks clearly, “We’re done.”

 

“Clarke-” Finn’s voice is soft, like a wave hitting against the sand. But before he can get another word out, she’s gone.

 

.:*:.

 

When Bellamy sees some other girl with Finn, practically attached to him like Clarke was, he knows something is wrong. So he goes to look for her, whoever Bellamy asks, they don’t know where she is through. Then it hits him.

 

He finds her crying over some piece that she’s working on in the art room. “Clarke?” He gets closer to her as if he was approaching a skittish cat. She looks up at him, eyes red, curls coming out of her braids, face puffed. His heartbreaks at the sight of how hurt this girl is.

 

“We’re done,” Clarke says, knowing Bellamy doesn’t need an explanation of what she’s talking about. When he goes and hold her, she loses it. Sobs come hard out of her mouth, her tears dampening Bellamy’s shirt. After he gets her to calm down, she explains. She tells him about the last few fights that they’ve had. She tells him why Finn had been expelled from his old school. She tells him about how Raven was only brought up a couple of times. She tells him about the kiss she witnessed between them. “I should’ve known,” she groans, frustrated with herself.

 

“How could you?” Bellamy asks her honestly. “He’s the douchebag.”

 

“Bell,” Clarke gives him a look. “ _I_ was the other woman. _And_ I didn’t even know about it.” But then she just starts to laugh. “I didn’t fucking _know_. What the _actual_ fuck kind of life is this?”

 

“A sick and twisted one.”

 

.:*:.

 

Clarke ignores the stares directed at her by Finn and from others. She keeps her head held up high. If she seems okay to everyone, then they’ll stop with the looks. Clarke deleted Finn’s number and ignored every message he left on her phone. To say that she’s done with him would be….a total lie.

 

She cries almost every night, remembering all the time spent on him. All the wonderful things they did and he did for her. She still believes him to be a good person, but just not one whom she can trust anymore. She’s doing her best to cut him out of her life. She gave back the jacket and the hats, all the presents he gave to her, including the figure of the two-headed deer he made for specially for her. She couldn’t face him through. If she did, she would forgive him, maybe even give him another chance. But she can’t, so she left everything out for him on his porch with a letter.

 

Both Jake and Abby realized about a week after the breakup how depressed she was. They didn’t know the whole story, they thought that it was due to a fight. But over dinner, Clarke started to cry, unable to keep it from them any longer. Jake grips his utensils hard enough to almost bend them. “I’m going to kick his ass,” he all but growls.

 

“As much as I agree with your father,” Abby tells Clarke as she rubs her back (making Jake mutter _bullshit_ under his breath), “we sadly can’t do anything illegal like that. So, how ‘bout this weekend you come to the hospital with me? Some of your favorites should be there.”

 

Clarke just agrees, knowing that going to hospital should be able to soothe her pounding head. “Can the three of us have lunch then at the hospital?” she questions.

 

“Okay, Sweetie.”

 

.:*:.

 

Clarke was about to make her second round of the room when her mother interrupts her. “Has your father responded yet or messaged you?” Worry showing on the woman’s face. The night before had created quite a few patches of black iced, causing Abby to curse and have Clarke inform Jake of it.

 

“Not yet, Mom. He’s probably still on his way here,” She reassures her. “He’s careful during the winter.”

 

Clarke is talking to Charlotte, a girl few years younger than Octavia, about art while the little girl waits for her father to be done with his chemotherapy when her mother’s cell phone goes off. First Abby ignores it, tending to her patients like professional she was. But once it starts going off again, she excuses herself to the hallway. That’s when she hears Abby let out a broken sob. Clarke runs out to the hall, seeing Abby, phone in hand, sunken to the floor. “Mom?” When Clarke crouches down to her, she can hear her whisper “No,” repeatedly through her free hand. “Mom?” Clarke tries again.

 

“This-”Abby says more to herself, still not noticing her daughter next to her. “This isn’t real.” She then dials a familiar number to both of them. When Clarke can hear her father’s voicemail through the receiver, it takes the girl by surprise. “Jake? Jake? Jake, you better pick up. Jake, this can’t be happening. They have someone else, right? Please tell me you’re at home. Jake,” Abby lets out another sob, “ _please_.”

 

“Mom? What’s going on?” Clarke starts to tear up. She’s never seen her mother like this before.

 

Abby looks at her finally, coming to terms with reality. “You’re-uh-you’re dad isn’t coming for lunch.”

 

“What do you mean, Mom?”

 

“He’s gone, Clarke,” Abby sobs again. It hits Clarke like a ton of bricks.

 

Her father, gone. She’s not going to see him today once they get back home. She’s not going to be able to see his smile he gives especially to her when he’s proud. She’s not going to be able to play Jeopardy with him anymore. She’s not going to have his ziti anymore. She’s not going to hear his voice or his laugh. Gone. Just like that.

 

Aurora made it up to their floor as soon as she was able to. She was in her scrubs, just coming off her shift downstairs in the ER. “Please don’t tell me it’s true,” she begs out of breath, denying the tears rolling down the other two’s faces. But once it settles in, she can’t help but join in.

 

“You need to go downstairs,” Aurora sniffles, bringing her attention to Abby.” They’ll explain everything to you.”

 

“Clarke?” her mother sits up, looking around. When Abby’s eyes settle on her daughter, she lets out another sob.

 

“I’ll take care of her, Honey,” Aurora hugs her best friend. “I’ll take care of her.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so I know that was rough. I actually cried when I wrote the last scene. I lost a couple of people this last year and so yeah…I’m hoping to get more out in the next couple of days. I’m working for 7 hours tomorrow so hopefully I can write on Tuesday and get it out then. I hope you all enjoyed. Until next time.


	5. Chapter 4: There Goes A Fighter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Major-ish character death, talks/dealing with cancer

Chapter 4: There Goes A Fighter

Two Years Ago

 

“Bell?” Clarke calls out, letting herself into the house. She hears clattering in the kitchen so she tiptoes in that direction. Clarke hides next to the doorframe, taking in a breath before jumping and screaming out, scaring….not Bellamy.

 

“ _Clarke_!” Aurora pants out, holding a hand to her chest and sending a glare in the blonde’s direction. “ _Why_ was giving you a key a good idea?”

 

The younger girl couldn’t help but laugh and let her mother’s best friend know that the door was actually unlocked. “I thought you were, Bellamy,” Clarke confesses as she reaches into the fridge for a water bottle. “But you aren’t him.”

 

“Really?” Aurora sounds shocked. “I’m not my seventeen year old son? I haven’t grown? Damnit, I’ve been waiting for it to happen.”

 

“The part where you turn into your son, or where you grew?” Clarke asks, hoisting herself up onto the counter. “Because the first one is weird. The second one I totally understand how you feel.”

 

Aurora just looks Clarke up and down. It’s been almost two years now since her father had died and she still can’t believe it. But since it happened, Abby takes more shifts at the hospital, even works as a nurse now with Aurora, and Clarke practically lives with The Blake’s, hence the key. But the girl was already family before the death, the two families not being able to spend a day without each other.

 

“Aurora?” Clarke says, trying to get the woman’s attention. “You may want to pay more attention to the stove than to me.” When the woman practically jumps, Clarke lets out a small giggle. “Where’s, Bell? Considering he was the one I was actually looking for.”

 

“Oh, he went out for a few errands,” Aurora informs her, holding out a spoon for Clarke. “Taste this,” she almost demands, smiling when Clarke practically moans as the flavors dance on her tongue. “Now back to my son. Why do you need him?”

 

“Oh, I was just going to ask if he can help me over at my house for bit,” Clarke shrugs, hopping down. “I’ll deal for now. Should I come over for dinner? I don’t think my mom will be home ‘til late tonight.” Clarke sighs and says, “If she even comes home,” under her breath.

 

“How ‘bout this,” Aurora starts to suggest, “I layout all the pillows in the living room tonight. You, Octavia, and maybe even Bellamy can all sleep out there? I’ll be with you until you kick me out and then I’ll retire to my room. How does that sound?”

 

“Perfect,” Clarke beams and gives her a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll be back later though. I’m moving around my furniture so then I can paint my room. So if, Bellamy and maybe even Octavia, end up coming home soon, would you mind sending them over?”

 

“No problem, Dear.” Aurora then shoos her out of the kitchen, turning back to the food.

 

.:*:.

 

“So,” Bellamy says as he stands in Clarke’s doorframe, “I was told that you scared my mother half to death?”

 

“I didn’t know that you were gone!” Clarke defends. “It was a _total_ accident.” She throws a bandana his way. “Now please help me move things.”

 

Bellamy bows before tying the bandana over his curls. “Anything for you, Princess.” He lets out a laugh as Clarke rolls her eyes at him, smiling at the nickname.

 

“More like the, Pauper,” Clarke shrugs, taking herself in the mirror. She reminds Bellamy of how Abby looked the first time that they had all met. Paint clad overalls, a black crop top underneath and her hair tied into two braids. _Anything but_ , Bellamy thinks to himself but says, “Sure thing, Princess,” to her instead. He looks around, seeing her walls bare of all of her artwork and photographs. “So what are we doing exactly?”

 

“Painting my room?” She turns towards him, “It’s the perfect time of year to do this.”

 

“It’s almost winter,” he deadpans.

 

“ _Exactly_.”

 

.:*:.

 

Thanksgiving, both mothers happened to have work at the hospital. People had already put in for their vacation time, leaving those who were too late to work. Which leaves the three kids in the kitchen at Clarke’s.

 

_“Do you really have to work?” Clarke follows Abby around the house that morning as she gets ready for work._

_“Clarke, dear,” Abby sighs, “I told you. Holidays doesn’t mean that people don’t need my help. Cancer doesn’t stop so people can just enjoy their family time._

_“I know I just-I never see you anymore.”_

 

“Y’know, “ Octavia puts in, “it’s like _F.R.I.E.N.D.S._ Like, them having what food each of them wanted and everything.”

 

“Except we’re eating Thai, O,” Bellamy pipes up, pointing his chopsticks at her.

 

“Yeah, all because someone didn’t want to cook for us.”

 

“Okay, but I’ve been working for the last few days at the store, O. I’m tired as fuck.”

 

“You’re going on eighteen, Bell,” Clarke jokes. “You’re getting old. Soon you’re going to complain about your back and hips and ‘those damn kids’ and ‘when I was your age.’ Are you really ready for that?” Bell throws a piece of his chicken at her face, but she ends up catching it in her mouth. “But this is only _lunch_ , O. Dinner is going to be probably dessert or something.”

 

“Or we can have an actual meal?” Bellamy suggests slowly.

 

Clarke shrugs her shoulders. “Up to you, Old Man.” Bellamy groans, remembering his mother calling him the same thing that morning.

 

 _“But I’m_ tired _,” Bellamy groans to Aurora as she gets her things together in the kitchen. “I don’t want to cook.”_

_“What are you? An old man?” Aurora asks him seriously. “Because you’re starting to sound like one._

_“Why can’t you just like, not go into work?” Bellamy suggests. “It’s a holiday anyway.”_

_“One where a.) not everyone celebrates and b.)when the idiots come out.” Aurora saying this made Bellamy remember the year before when Jasper had blown something up somehow and ended up in the ER when he was there bringing his mother lunch._

_He grimaces at the memory as says, “Give Jasper a beating for me.”_

 

“Are we really the only three out of our group who isn’t doing anything?” Octavia complains. “Because no offense, I love you both, but you’re basically a married couple it’s both annoying and sickening.”

 

“I can always invite, Raven,” Clarke suggests, shrugging when Bellamy gives her a look. “Considering who was pretty much her only family member was. I even think she’s renting out an apartment.”

 

“ _Please_ ,” Octavia all but begs, “I need someone else.”

 

**Raven (1:18pm)  
** _**Hey, you doing anything today?** _

**Raven (1:18pm)  
** _If I’m replying this fast do you really think I am?_

 

**Raven (1:18pm)**  
_**You want to come over for some not-so-Thanksgiving dinner?  
** _ _**It’s just me, Bell, and O at my house** _

**Raven (1:22pm)  
** _Can I bring alcohol?_

 

**Raven (1:22pm)**  
__**No.**  
__**O is only 14.**  
_**Bell would hate me if I let her drink  
** _ __**Around him that is**

**Raven (1:23pm)**  
_Ugh. Fine  
_ _Address?_

 

“So?” Octavia asks, getting excited. She’s known almost all of Clarke’s friends basically all of her life, integrating herself in the group pretty quickly. So the fact that there’s someone else that Clarke’s acquainted with makes her feel almost proud. Ever since Jake had died, both of The Griffin girls had become hard on the outside and almost like ice on the inside. Especially Clarke, with the Finn incident had only happened a week before the accident. Only Octavia knows of the guilt that Clarke holds in her heart. So they only stayed in their groups that they had from before. Not that Clarke or Abby was really one to socialize in the first place, but someone new meant someone that Clarke is on her way from recovering. Hopefully.

 

“Raven’s coming for dinner,” Clarke informs them, not looking up from her phone. “Got anyone on either of your guys’ end that you might want to invite?” Both Blake’s shake their heads, knowing everyone is either with each other or their family. “Alright, that settles it then.”

 

If Bellamy were being honest, he was kind of disappointed by this holiday. He was hoping Clarke could be thankful for her mother being there but only he and Aurora know that she never took off so she can avoid the holiday, and he wasn’t even supposed to know. He was about to walk into the kitchen about a month beforehand, overhearing just that small part of the conversation. _“It’s just not the same,” Abby admitted, tears and alcohol clouding her voice. “I just can’t be there without him.”_ He was hoping that his mother would also be home, but he knows that they need the money and that the ER would be short-staffed as it was. And lastly, he just wanted to be there with the other two people in his life that he’s always cared for the most, not a onetime mistake he had made years ago. But even as the three sit in the kitchen eating Thai, he couldn’t help but regret the thoughts. He’s actually pretty content. The two are his family, how could he not be?

 

“I’ll get started on dinner,” he offers, getting up to put his leftovers in the fridge and grabbing ingredients out.

 

Clarke gives him a strange look. “I thought that you were ‘too tired,’” She quotes him. “Besides, relax a bit, let the food settle. Raven won’t be here for a while and it’s only going on two o’clock. You’ve got plenty of time before you make what-” Clarke points out, eyeing the food he had started to pull out.

 

“Mac and cheese,” he fills in the obvious blank, his back is turned away so he can’t see how Clarke’s face starts to light up. “And probably something else, too. You have a bunch of cheese and I know you have a shitton of pasta. What else can I make with it?”

 

“A lot of mac and cheese,” Octavia gives her input as she finishes off her rice. "Like enough to feed an army."

 

"I second this," Clarke all but jumps up in her seat.

 

Bellamy just stares at her. "That's because you are the army."

 

.:*:.

 

It's in the middle of December when Bellamy finds his mother sobbing quietly in the kitchen, the phone in her hand. "Mom?" He asks softly, slowly making his way to the table. "What's wrong?"

 

Aurora seems surprised to see her son now in front of her. "Oh, Bellamy. You're home," she says mostly to herself, wiping away at the tears. "I just uh...I'm done with the phone. Do you want to go over with me to The Griffin's? I would ask Octavia but she's at Monty's right now."

 

"Yeah, sure," he agrees. "Are you okay, Mom?" He questions, but does his best not to push. "You know you can tell me anything.”

 

“I’ll explain everything to you later,” she promises. “Are you able to go over there now? Abby already knows that I need to talk to her.”

 

“Yeah,” he gets up. “Yeah, I’m free now. But it’s freezing out, I’ll drive.”

  
  


.:*:.

 

Clarke and Bellamy hole themselves up in her room. More like Clarke saw Aurora’s tear filled eyes and dragged Bellamy up the stairs. “Did she say anything?” Clarke questioned as they walked up the steps.

 

“Just that she’ll tell me everything later,” he replies, looking over his shoulder to plan an escape route. He feels a tug on his hand causing him to look up at the blonde.

 

“Then let her talk to my mom,” she responds, her expression soft. “She’s going to explain to you when she can, when she’s ready.” It definitely eases Bellamy’s worry a smidge, but his face doesn’t show a change.

 

As they sit on Clarke’s bed and watch her TV, the tension is plausible. Clarke sighs and pulls Bellamy to her. “Do you want to stay here?” she asks as he snuggles up to her. He shakes his head slightly, making Clarke hum under him. She then asks “Do you want to go anywhere?” making him shrug his shoulders. He’s so much smaller than he’s ever been. Ever since the two first met, he’s held himself tall and proud. Clarke’s never seen him vulnerable like this, she’s usually the one cuddling up to him. He was close when Jake had died, crying just as much as the rest, but he was also being strong for Clarke then. Now, she knows he needs her to be his own rock. “Hey,” she turns her face slightly, her face now in his curls, “I know where we can go.”

 

“Where?” he moans, already getting comfortable.

 

She gets up, letting Bellamy flop down on her bed. She leaves her room without a word. As the door clicks closed, Bellamy rolls over on his back. He breathes in Clarke’s sent, slowing down his pounding heart. His eyes are closed when she comes back in. “They know that we’re going,” she informs him, pulling on her boots and coat. “Let’s go.”

 

.:*:.

 

“ _Really_ , Clarke?” Bellamy chuckles as Clarke pulls into the parking lot.

 

“Oh c’mon,” she laughs along with him. “When was the last time you were here?”

 

“With you,” he says seriously. “After the whole thing with, Finn.” He knows she brought him to the lake for comfort like he did two years ago.

 

_“Bell,” Clarke groans, sitting in the passenger’s seat of the car he borrowed from Aurora, “I just want to go home and binge watch sappy rom-coms. Is that too much to ask?”_

_“Yeah, it is,” Bellamy gives her a sad look as he says this. “Look, it’s not like I’m telling you to go kiss the first person you see that’s attractive out there. I’m just telling you to go out there and have some fun.”_

_“I have fun!” Clarke defends, looking hurt. When she sees Bellamy give her a look, she then adds, “Most of the time.”_

 

“It’s been snowing like crazy this week, Bell,” Clarke’s eyes light up. “How many snowpeople do you think we can make this time?”

 

“We made what?” Bellamy smiles as wide as Clarke does. “Like twelve last time?”

 

“And a dog.” Clarke adds as she exits the cars.

 

.:*:.

 

Bellamy and Clarke enter the house, faces pink and full of laughter. This time around, they were able to make fifteen snowpeople and _two_ dogs. Clarke had only wanted to be out for a couple of hours, but then the two of them got into an hour long snowball fight as they were about to leave. So they stopped to get dinner, calling Abby in advance to let her know.

 

“We’re back,” Bellamy announces with Clarke right behind him. “We come bearing food as well.” He then looks at both women’s faces, eyes and faces red from obvious tears. “What’s going on?”

 

“Can you two take a seat?” Abby asks. “We’ll eat afterwards.”

 

“Is everything okay?” Clarke questions, concern clouding over her expression. When Aurora shakes her head, Clarke repeats Bellamy’s question.

 

Abby starts to explain for Aurora. She explains how Aurora went to the doctor’s about a week ago, not feeling right. She explains the blood test they did on her. “Mom,” Bellamy starts, “ _what’s going on_?”

 

“Bell, I-” Aurora takes a deep breath, Abby reaching out to hold her hand. “I have cancer.” Clarke lets out a sob at the admission. Bellamy just shakes his head, thankful he’s already sitting down. He knew about her side of the family having medical problems, but that didn’t mean that he expected his own mother to be a part of that. He goes numb. He doesn’t know what to say, he doesn’t know how to feel. What brings him back is the squeeze of his knee from the girl next to him.

 

“How far along are you?” Clarke asks, looking scared to know.

 

“Stage three,” Aurora tells her, but looks at Bellamy with a painful look. “I already made an appointment to start chemotherapy. I’m _not_ giving up.”

 

.:*:.

 

Everyone in the hospital finds out about Aurora. She’s well loved in both of her departments so it’s hard on everyone. She’s fine for the first few months. Nausea due to the chemo, she’s starting to thin and get pale. It’s around April when she goes on medical leave as per Dr. Griffin’s instructions after Aurora had almost fainted dealing with a patient.

 

Bellamy has already dropped out of school and is almost done taking his GED classes. He’s gotten himself a second job when Abby told him about what happened at the hospital. Even Octavia got a job babysitting around the neighborhood, being only fourteen. They, along with Clarke, tend to Aurora - even though she’s constantly telling them not to fuss about her.

 

It’s not until June when it gets to her. She’s in the middle of her blood transfusion when she becomes unresponsive. Code Blue is called, Abby already on the scene giving her CPR. “Don’t you give up on me,” Abby demands, practically crying. “I’m not losing you today.” When Aurora starts breathing again, Abby cries, hugging her best friend to her chest. That night Aurora is admitted into the hospital, Bellamy and Octavia not leaving her side.

 

The next morning, Clarke goes in with her mother to work, knowing that she can see her family friend before visiting hours even rolled around. She walks into Aurora’s room, carrying a tray of coffee and tea. All three of them are asleep, Aurora in her bed and her kids either side of her. She wakes them each up with a gentle kiss to the forehead. “I come with gifts?” Is how she answers to both Bellamy and Octavia’s glares. The two are so much alike, especially when it comes to their coffee order. “And I didn’t forget my favorite.” She put the cup of tea down in front of Aurora, getting a straw out of her purse and unwrapping it.

 

“Oh, Hun,” Aurora shakes her head, eyes tearing up, “you didn’t have to do such a thing.”

 

“I know,” Clarke shrugs as she goes to sit on the arm of Bellamy’s chair. “I figured I would drop by before I get kicked out by my mom when she comes to talk to you. If you need me, just have Bell or O call or get me.”

 

Aurora can just cry in response, leaning up to give the girl she’s always thought of as a daughter a hug.

 

.:*:.

  
That summer, Clarke practically lives at The Blake’s, helping take care of Aurora when either kids weren’t there or her nurse wasn’t either. No one leaves the house unless it’s to shop or go to work. Aurora hates that all three of them are fussing over her, even though she will _not_ admit to enjoying the company. But when one morning in August, Bellamy calls The Griffin’s residence in tears, they know the fight was over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that this took so long to get out, honestly. I'm not too sure how I feel about this chapter tbh. It was hard for me to write. I based Aurora's story loosely on my grandma's fight with lung cancer. I had lost her back in May and her birthday would've been on the 9th so it was... hard. I'll try to get the next chapter out as soon as I can!


	6. Chapter 5: I Can Only Be Dreaming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is coming out so late! This one is most definitely shorter than the others but I felt that where I left off was a good place. So happy reading.

Chapter Five: I Can Only Be Dreaming

Present Day

 

After Aurora’s death, Clarke had only seen Bellamy at the funeral and then he was gone. He and Octavia had to sell the house, now that they wouldn’t be able to afford it, and rent out an apartment on the other side of town. Octavia and Clarke would still see each other in school and would hang out nearly everyday with each other afterwards. But Bellamy was absent from Clarke’s life and nearly from his own sister’s. She knew though that it would be hard on them, especially Bellamy now that besides the two jobs he was already working, he’s going to their local college on almost a full-ride.

 

Now, two years later, Clarke has graduated from high school and applied and got into Ark Community College. Her mother wants her to go into pre-med and a more prestigious college than Ark, but Clarke wants to study art and follow her passions and dreams. Yes, she loves helping people, but….how can she give up her dream?

 

So, for her freshman year, she’s going in undecided. She’ll take some biology classes here and some art classes there. Abby isn’t too excited about her choice, but she’s learning to cope. She know where Clarke stands when it comes to both and how hard of a choice it must be for her. But then she starts to think that once she makes up her mind, it means more schooling.

 

Even though the college is only a few miles away from Clarke’s home, she’s chose to dorm - another choice that Abby isn’t too keen on. “It’s just more money,” Abby insisted to her when she had committed. But there was no way Clarke could stay at home her first year with Abby hovering above.

 

The two women are able to get Clarke’s things up to her room on the second floor ( _“Oh thank, God,” Clarke had practically cried._ ) Not comfortable choosing a side just yet, Clarke just sets her things in the shared closet for now just to keep it out of the way. Clarke didn’t have much in Abby’s van to begin with so it was a short visit between the two and a sweet goodbye.

 

Clarke heads back into her room to see it opened. She stops dead in her tracks when she sees her roommate. Her face breaks out into a grin, “You have _got_ to be fucking kidding me.”

 

.:*:.

 

Raven just laughs at the sight of the blonde standing in the doorway. “I’m taking the left side,” she points out to all of her things already crowding the bed.

 

“I thought that I was getting someone named, Glass, as my roommate,” Clarke admits as she continues into the room.

 

“Yeah well,” Raven shrugs, “looks like she wasn’t too happy or something. Because now you’re stuck with me.” Clarke closes in on the girl, nearly knocking the wind out of her. “Yeah, I missed you too, Blondie.”

 

The two talk and catch up about their summers as they get themselves situated. Clarke filling up her walls with her own art and Raven with posters of machines and bands. It’s around two when their messes are cleaned up and room already looking lived in. “Time to explore?” Clare suggests to the other girl.

 

“Sure, why not?”

 

.:*:.

 

Bellamy is laying out in the quad with some people in his classes from the past few years when he sees her. The blonde, the waves, the captivating blue eyes that she has. Panic first fills his mind, but when she continues to walk away, it’s like a loss all on it’s own. “And now _who_ was that?” One of his friends ask, seeing him stare at the blonde.

 

“Someone I thought that I knew,” Bellamy responds. “Down girl. You’re practically drooling, Lex.”

 

“Oh shut up,” she responds with a laugh, punching his arm. Bellamy had met Lexa their freshman year. She’s a Polisci major and like him, in her junior year. She moved out here from D.C. and Bellamy had shown her the ropes around the area. They first had butt heads during their Introduction to American History class, but then grew on each other (Their teacher thanking them at the end of the semester, practically in tears as he did so).

 

“Wasn’t that, Raven?” Miller asks from his other side, also staring where the girls had walked past them. “And Cl-”

 

“I don’t know, Miller,” Bellamy glares at the other boy. No one ever knew how he had felt about Clarke in the past, not even Octavia. Yes, there were rumors to which both had denied to. But one day in their sophomore year, Miller had figured it out. He was one of the people who had questioned it as well, but once Bellamy had denied it, Miller stayed out of it any just observed only. He noticed all of the stares and all the touches. While everyone just kept questioning and starting conspiracies, Miller just stayed behind. It wasn’t until one day when Bellamy broke down after Miller had graduated and told him.

 

“Who?” Lexa perks up. “Because the blonde was gorgeous and the other one was hot.”

 

“The ‘hot’ one, as you put her, isn’t into girls,” Miller breaks the news to the brunette (and to which Bellamy mutters under his breathe, “She’s into assholes though,” and makes Miler laugh).

 

“And the blonde?” Lexa questions.

 

“Also into assholes,” Bellamy supplies.

 

.:*:.

 

Clarke had texted Wells already, knowing that he was in another building. The three of them agreed to meet up and do lunch. “God,” Raven grabs ahold of Clarke’s arm, “I love knowing the area already. I say we go to that diner that’s by Jaha’s place.”

 

“Skybox?” Clarke laughs, providing the name for her.

 

“They’re the place where the roof is enclosed so you can eat there at anytime during the year, right?”Raven questions, waiting for Clarke to confirm. When she does, she lets out a little yelp, being a little overly excited.

 

“You okay there, Bird?” Clarke asks, calling her by the nickname she had given to her years beforehand. And if people ask, she willingly admits to the fact that both girls were dating the same asshole without knowing it and so Clarke and her dork of a best friend came up with it was a codename. But then it stuck.

 

“I worked all summer. I didn’t get to see you, Jaha, or anyone else since graduation,” Raven admits. “It’s just nice.”

 

A voice behinds them speaks up. “What’s nice?”

 

The girls turn around, both knowing who it’s coming from. Clarke has to look up to see his face, she always has. “Bellamy?” Clarke breathes out, tears coming to her eyes.

 

Raven looks between the two and then glares up at the older boy. “What do you want?” The question comes out hard, making him flinch.

 

Bellamy throws his hands up in surrender and directs his response to Clarke. “Just to catch up.” It’s honest, Clarke can tell. But she also knows that it’s been two years since she’s actually seen him.

 

“I uh-” Clarke takes a deep breath and stands up taller. “I can’t. We’re going to meet up with, Wells.”

 

His face falls, breaking Clarke’s heart a little more, adding to the crack that he had already made in it. “Some other time then,” he nods slightly. “I’ll see you around. Both of you.” And with that, he walked back in the direction he came.

 

Raven doesn’t ask the obvious question because she knows the answer. Raven knows that the two have been a bigger part of each other’s lives than they sometimes admit. And Raven has been at Clarke’s side and has seen the longing stares at her phone, hoping it would ring. It went on for months before Clarke even gave her phone a second glance. Raven remembers how they two were just months before at Thanksgiving, her and Octavia calling them a married couple. Once Clarke had changed from this, Raven’s opinion of Bellamy had changed as well. For the longest time, he was the reason why there was a smile on her friend’s face. Now he was the reason of the tears in her eyes. “Let’s go get food,” Raven directs her, arm hanging over her shoulder.

 

.:*:.

 

“I fucked up,” is the first thing Bellamy says when he walks Miller’s room. He groans, falling face-first onto the other mattress.

 

“Well,” Miller starts, not looking up from his computer, “you two were best friends for most of your lives and then you stopped talking to her for two years. I think _that’s_ where you fucked up. And maybe today as well.” Bellamy throws a pillow towards Miller, just missing him. “I’m just telling you what you already know.”

 

Bellamy rolls over and lets out a sigh. “I know.” He thinks back to the tears he saw in her icy stare. He wanted to talk to her. Not just today, but the past two years as well. He thought that he needed to clear his head. His mother had died, his best friend was the love of his life, he and Octavia had to move. He thought he needed it. But everyday grew harder not talking to her. He always typed out a message and only saved it to his drafts. Everyday he thanked her, told her about his day, confessed how he’s always felt. He just...couldn’t send them out. And when he finally got the courage, it was too late. Octavia told him that she stopped asking about him like she had everyday. She told him that the pictures of just the two of them were kept in a special drawer, no longer hanging up or in frames. That night after Octavia had gone to sleep, he took out the bottle of Jack he had stored in his room and cried. Bellamy had only cried twice before that. Once when Jake Griffin had died, and the other when his own mother did. Bellamy stayed strong for all the others, Clarke being his own rock. And now she was gone.

 

“I really fucked up,” Bellamy admits, facing Miller now. He’s the only person who he had told everything to. “I just...I thought my mind was playing tricks on me, Nate. Then both her and Raven glared at me. They both sounded so _cold_. As much as I wanted to talk to her, I don’t think I have that right to anymore.”

 

Miller sighs, closing his laptop. He throws the pillow back at his best friend. “Then make sure you _earn_ back that right. Because you’re right. You don’t have it anymore. You went _two_ years without saying a word to her after your mom died. She was there with you guys every step of the way. She’s hurt. I know you were and still are, too. But Clarke’s life was pretty fucked up in high school.”

 

“Do I need help from, O?” Bellamy asks, already bracing himself for the answer.

 

“I’m going to say yes to that.”

 

.:*:.

 

“I met someone,” Wells admits after the three of them are seated. Clarke couldn’t even get to the drink menu before he dropped the news. That summer, Wells had done an internship that his father had set up for him in Phoenix. The two kept in touch when they could, both doing nothing but work.

 

Raven turns in her seat to face Clarke. “How come, Jaha, here can end up getting someone but me and you ended up being with the same asshole and that’s it through high school?” The question is very serious, but Wells laughs at it anyway.

 

“It’s the charming personalities you guys have,” he jokes. “Also some may even think that you’re a couple,” he adds quietly as he looks through the menu. Clarke lets out a hearty laugh as Raven wraps herself around the blonde’s side.

 

“If I was into girls, that would probably be a thing,” Raven admits, shrugging. “But seriously, does Papa Jaha know of her? Does he approve?”

 

“How about we start with her name first, Bird,” Clarke laughs out.

 

Wells tells the two about Sasha. She’s their age and was doing the same internship, where they had met. The two both going for a degree in Political Science, but Sasha minoring in education. He tells them about how when he first saw her, he actually got flustered, how he just knew he needed to know her. And when he did, they became fast friends.

 

“Is she from Phoenix or somewhere else?” Clarke asks after giving their waiter back the menu.

 

“She’s from Phoenix,” he informs them. When both girls give him a look, he knows what they’re thinking and laughs. “No, she didn’t come with me here. She’s staying in Phoenix.”

  
Clarke stares at him. She’s known Wells even longer than she’s known Bellamy. These two grew up together, their parents being friends dating all the way back to high school. Of course their fate would be similar. But her whole life, right on her other side was Wells. They started to drift apart for while, but nothing could end what they’ve always had. And she will admit, she’s never seen this look on his face. She knew that he was in love with her for the longest time, she thought they would maybe even start something at one point in her life. But it just was never there for her. She’s just glad that Wells isn’t one of _those_ guys. “I’m glad you’re happy,” she tells him truthfully. “One of us needs to be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to add novel people in and I'm not sorry about it. I think I'm actually going to incorporate Glass more into the story, but I'm not too sure yet. But I just loved Wells/Sasha in the books and I just had to add her in. But I hope you all enjoyed! I promise to get 6 out asap!


	7. Chapter 6: Who Doesn't Go Here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Underage drinking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's literally like after 1 in the morning right now. So I hope you enjoy.

Chapter 6: Who Doesn’t Go Here?

Present Day

“You _knew_?” Bellamy yells at Octavia over dinner. She just stares back at him and takes a bite out of her sandwich. “Why didn’t you _tell_ me?”

Octavia just shrugs as she continues to eat. “Why would I?” When he gives her a look she puts down her food. “Really, Bellamy. It’s none of your business.”

“I know,” he sighs. “I just, didn’t expect to see her today is all.”

Octavia just stares at him. “You _saw_ her? Oh god. Did you speak to her?”

“For like a moment,” he admits. “Okay seriously, O. Why do you have her side but not mine?”

Her stare is as cold as the other girls’ were. “Because you also stopped talking to _me_.” He tries to say something, but Octavia cuts him off. “No, Bell. I know that you’re sorry. But that doesn’t mean that it was okay. I know you were busy. Two jobs, college. But you didn’t even put in an _effort_ to talk to Clarke, let alone me while you were doing this all. I only knew that you were still alive and okay because I live with you.” She gets up from their small table and places her plate in the refrigerator. “I’ll eat later. I lost my appetite.”

Bellamy just lets her go, knowing even if he tried that he wouldn’t be able to stop her. He lays his head against the tabletop, and lets out another sigh. He needs to get out, but he can’t. If he’s ever going to get Clarke back in his life, he needs to stop running.

.:*:.

Clarke finishes tying off her shoes and sees Raven giving her a strange look. “I need to run,” she explains. “I’m going to go use the gym, you wanna come?”

“Sure,” Raven shrugs and sits up. “At least I’ll be doing something.”

And that’s what lead to Clarke running for close to two hours, focusing only on her breathing. This and yoga are what she took up after everything that happened to her. It kept her sane after the nightmares she would see play behind her eyes. It kept her mind off of a building panic attack. It kept her focused and in shape. For the time she’s either on the treadmill or on the side of the road, her mind goes to the music, her feet hitting against the surface, and where she needs to go. Slowing down her steps to cool off, she looks next to her to see Raven not there anymore. She just shakes her head and pauses her music, checking to see if she can still hear the girl’s voice still in the room. “Bird?” Clarke calls out when there was nothing going on around her.

“I’m still here,” Raven practically breathes out. “Just not next to you.” Clarke sees her running around a corner, eyes lighting up. “You have _got_ to see this!”

Clarke huffs and stops the treadmill. “Where are you taking me?” Clarke groans as Raven pulls her along with her.

Raven has a skip in her step as they walk back the way she came. “There’s a _pool_!”

.:*:.

Raven and Clarke are laying out on the quad, each with a book in hand when someone stands over them. “You’re blocking the sun,” Raven complains and sends a glare to the person standing there.

“Oh calm down, Rave,” the familiar voice laughs out. Clarke looks up to see Jasper there.

“Did _everyon_ e just decide to come here?” she asks seriously, looking at her two friends.

“Only taking my general ed classes here and working,” Jasper admits as he plops himself down and leans up against Clarke. “Then it’s off to greater things. What are you two here for? I never actually found out.”

“Well, I never mentioned it,” Clarke says, sounding bored. She loves Jasper, don’t get her wrong. Just sometimes he’s a little….much. “And Raven doesn’t say much.”

“She just gives looks,” Jasper agrees, looking a bit scared. He can’t tell if the look he’s getting now is actually homicidal or not. But he’s definitely leaning more towards homicidal. “Well I hope to see you both at some other point. But since school hasn’t started yet, Monty is dropping by at some point this week. So I’ll let you guys know when?”

“Y’know,” Raven states, “I was just thinking how weird it is to see you without him. But then you said that I realized that he’s actually _younger_ than us. I always think that it’s you who’s younger.”

“Okay, rude,” Jasper scoffs at the statement. As he stands up, he pulls his goggles down over his eyes. Both girls now realize that he’s wearing a pair of rollerblades. They learned long before not to question him. “Until next time, ladies.”

As he leaves, Clarke decides to pull out her phone.

**Mont (11:28am)  
** _**Why are you and Jasper always together again?** _

“Don’t expect a response until about two,” Raven tells her as she lays back down and goes back to her book. “The boy’s asleep.”

“Well he’s lucky,” the blonde sighs. She leans back on her elbows and looks around, taking everything in. At least that’s what she’s trying to convince herself that she’s doing. She knows that her eyes are searching for the head of curls that are so familiar to her. She should’ve known that he was going here, Octavia was still going through high school. But maybe that’s part of the reason why even though Clarke was accepted into her first choice and many more, she decided to stay and go here. She dismisses the thought right after it came. She knows why she chose Ark and Bellamy Blake was not part of it. He took himself out of her life himself. She never pulled too hard when he pushed. But as Clarke thinks about it,  Bellamy never actually pushed.

He just let go.

.:*:.

Bellamy hasn’t left Octavia alone all day, following her around the house as he asked for help. “Just drop it, Bell,” she kept telling him. She finally gave in and listened to him. “I’m only do this so you’ll stop.”

So he tells her everything from the small kisses on the cheek to him falling in love at a young age to him helping out with Clarke after everything with Finn and Jake to Clarke helping him after everything with Aurora. He let everything out. The mistakes he made with both Clarke and Octavia, the promises he made, the whispered secrets, the best moments. He apologizes to Octavia for not being there for her like she needed him to be. He wasn’t the only one who lost someone close and by doing what he did, he made Octavia lose another person as well. When he was done, Octavia didn’t change. “Two years, Bell,” Octavia said to him as she stood up from their couch. “You have two people to make that up to. And you better get ready for work, I’m going over to Monty’s.” And with that, she’s gone.

Bellamy just sits on their table, until he realizes that it’s nearing two-thirty now. He starts to get ready for his on-campus job, judging his own appearance. He’s dressed neatly in navy slacks, a pressed buttondown shirt, and a mustard colored cardigan. He hates that this is the look he goes with and no one at the library even cares how he looks, but his freshman year he decided it was a good idea. _I should’ve chosen to do the tours_ , he thinks as he gathers his things.

 

He clocks in a few minutes late, no one even really caring. He relieves Harper from the counter after she informs him of everything he needs to catch up on. Once she leaves, he puts on his reading glasses so he can see what he’s doing on the computer. Since it’s only the beginning of the semester, he doesn’t have to worry so much about scanning in returned books and  the sort. He unfortunately has to deal with the new material, directing freshman, and training the newbies. He hasn’t been in here all summer, meaning the dust and the smells decide to play with his allergies. He takes the eye drops that are in the drawer that he keeps his things in to find it not there. Or course the cleaning staff had thrown it away, he would’ve done the same thing. But he still curses under his breath since he knew no one carried around allergy medication. He keeps rubbing his eye under his frames and sniffling, thanking that there wasn’t many people around today. When he sniffles a few more times, he hears someone groan. The chair scrapes against the carpeting and when he looks up, Clarke is staring at him, her face settled on a glare again.

“Take this and keep this,” she says, handing him a white box with the words “Allergy Relief” written in green on the front.

“What is it?” he asks before she can walk away.

“Cetirizine,” she informs him.

“I’m sorry. I still don’t speak medical, so I’m going to repeat my question. What is it?”

“Generic Zyrtec,” she now faces him. “If I recall, the only one that really works for you.” When Bellamy drops his head and avoids her look, she frowns. “At least I didn’t forget.” She then walks back over to her table without another word to pack up her bag. _At least I didn’t forget_. Bellamy knows the meaning behind the statement. The two years he left her alone, Clarke never forgot anything between them. She walks past him without a second glance and Bellamy tries his best not to break down in the middle of work. His best friend truly is no longer that anymore. She’s someone else.

.:*:.

Clarke takes a deep breath as she exits the library. After that she needs more than just a run. She needs a drink. When she gets back to the dorm, she’s grateful that Raven is there so she doesn’t need to text her idea to her roommate. “Have you heard if there’s any parties going on around here?” Is the first thing that comes out of her mouth after walking in.

“Slow your roll, Blondie,” the other girl laughs. “I was approached by the one and only, Nathan Miller, today. He actually invited us to a party some kid he knows is throwing. Good thing you and I had the same thought of what to do tonight.”

“It’s because when there’s alcohol involved,” Clarke jumps onto her bed, “we’re like sharks when there’s blood in the water.”

“Cool, I’m an alcoholic shark now,” Raven jokes. When Clarke doesn’t laugh at her lame joke, she realizes something is up. “Wait, you didn’t start drinking until after your dad died and you drink when some shit comes up. What happened this time?”

Clarke shrugs before she lays down on her pillows. “I saw Bellamy again today. How fucked _up_ could this even be anymore?”

“Oh God,” Raven’s voice goes hard, “did he try to talk to you again.”

Clarke shakes her head, her waves falling all around her face. “No, I was the one to approach him.” She can feel Raven’s stare on her, knowing it without looking at her. “I gave him medicine is all. He couldn’t stop rubbing his eye and sniffling. You know how it’s a huge pet peeve of mine.”

“Okay, that is very true,” Raven admits. But she still looks over her best friend’s appearance. She can see the conflict going on in Clarke’s head, it was playing out on her features. “The party isn’t until tonight, do you want to do something until then?”

“My mind says drink but my body says run,” the blonde groans.

“I would say both, but I don’t think that would be a good idea.” Clarke finally lets out a laugh.

“C’mon,” Clarke sits up, “let’s get ready.”

They stayed in the gym for a few hours before they went back to their dorm to shower. “I’m telling you,” Clarke’s getting animated about everything now that they saw someone else from high school, “ _everyone_ just decided to come here! I mean, _Wick_?”

Raven just shrugs and gives her best friend a smirk. “There’s some unfinished business between us.”

Clarke wrinkles her nose at the other girl. “Ew.”

Raven just shrugs. “Just sayin’.” When Clarke groans, Raven just laughs and swings her arm over the blonde’s shoulders. “Let’s go get dressed up.”

.:*:.

By the time they meet up with Miller, the party is already at full force. “It’s not even ten,” Clarke accuses.

“And most of them have been drinking since noon,” he supplies. If she’s being honest, she can’t if he’s serious or not. But she’s never really been able to read him for as long as she can remember.

“I wish I was too,” Raven admits. When the other two give her matching looks, she walks into the house. “Let’s go get drunk.”

They do. Raven spots Wick and leaves Clarke behind. Clarke has had too many shots of tequila - or was it vodka? - to count and is on her second (third?) cup of whiskey. To say that she was starting to feel it now was an understatement. She was dancing with whomever was around her, she slurred every word, and stumbled on each step. She was currently dancing with some kid she thinks named Sterling before someone cut in. And God, was this someone gorgeous.

She’s the same height as Clarke but even after drinking, holds herself up much higher. She whispers her name in Clarke’s ear as she moves herself closer. “Lexa,” is all she says before her lips meet Clarke’s cheek. Whether the flush on Clarke’s face is from the thick air, the alcohol, or the brunette in front of her, she doesn’t care. For once, Clarke doesn’t actually care. She takes the last sip of her drink and laughs before responding. After a few minutes of dancing, Clarke finally responds back with her own name.

The rest of the night, the two stay together dancing, drinking, and joking around. The two are too drunk to even think about making their way back to the dorms, both crashing on some floor in some room with just about everyone else.

The next morning (or more like noon), there’s the usual walks of shame from some people, but the owner of the house ends up having a bunch of food and coffee ready. “A routine of theirs,” Lexa informs Clarke, her hangover lessening with the grease, medicine, and caffeine.

Clarke doesn’t complain when Lexa spikes their coffee’s with some leftover liquor. “Best cure,” Clarke mutters. She goes for a cheers, forgetting the _clink_ the cup make when they hit against each other. They both groan before each sipping their drinks. Clarke hums as the warmth flows through her chest.

“You want me to walk you back to your dorm?” Lexa asks, looking over at the blonde over her mug.

“If I still wasn’t a little drunk,” Clarke jokes, “I would say yes. But I’m going to pass on today. I have someone to meet up with.”

“Next time then?” Lexa asks, eyes looking sincere.

“Maybe.”

.:*:.

“You were drinking,” Octavia accuses her oldest friend. “I can smell it on you.”

Clarke looks up from where she’s sitting on her favorite bench in the park. “So were you.”

“Monty and I were testing out his new moonshine,” the younger girl shrugs, sitting down. “You?”

“Houseparty,” Clarke lets her know. “I’ll bring you next time if your brother isn’t around.”

“Wait,” Octavia pauses. “Was, Bell, there last night?”

“I don’t think I saw him,” Clarke takes a sip of her (non spiked) coffee before she continued. “At least from what I can remember.”

Octavia nods her head. She’s really hoping that he was actually at the party, even though she would never admit to the thought. Her brother is always doing some kind of work, he just needs to relax. And even though she’s also still mad at Bellamy, she does want the two to be there for each other again. She’s watch them grow up together, go through deaths and breakups, hell and back. Watching from both sides, she couldn’t help but empathize with Clarke, feeling abandoned by her own brother herself. But she knows that Bellamy is not the best at coping. He’s always everyone else’s rock, being there for only them. But the night that she told Bellamy two years ago that Clarke just gave up, she heard him through their walls. She knew that they were both broken in their own ways, but in a way, the two had always made each other whole again.

 **  
** She may still be upset, but Octavia knew that she had to help Bellamy at least apologize to Clarke. The rest is up to Clarke herself, she can’t be pushed. She needs to make her own decision. Clarke has to forgive or forget. There is no “and.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got this out a lot faster than I expected. Hopefully it'll continue being smooth sailing for a while. And honestly, thank you all who have been reading and keeping up with this fic! I love you all ♥


	8. Chapter 7: One Too Many (Part One)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is sort of late! But here it is

Chapter Seven: One Too Many (Part One)

One Year Ago

 

It’s their senior year, something _had_ to be done. And that thought is what lead to more than ten parties in one week right before school started.

 

Sunday

* * *

 

 

“We’re doing this, aren’t we?” Clarke asks excitedly to the small group. They day before everyone in the senior class - and then some - had to have been invited to more than twenty parties. All spread out through the entire week, quite a few on the same day. “We pick and choose,” Raven had told them when the Facebook notifications started to roll in. “If people are in the same neighborhood and we aren’t too drunk to move out of the house, we hop from place to place.” They’ve all been to their own shares of parties, but never like this.

 

Clarke remembers the first party she went to with Bellamy just a few years back. It had to have been about a month after her father’s death. He pulled up his truck and parked on the side of the road. It was the dead of the winter but he warned her not to dress too warmly. She remembers her first sip of beer from the can Bellamy had in his hand.

 

_“Clarke,” he warned her when she took his can, “are you sure about this?”_

_She coughs after the liquid makes her way down her throat. “It’s just one sip, Bell.”_

_“One of many,” he jokes._

 

And then after the beer, it was the tequila and the rum and the vodka and some more beer. Bellamy made sure she wasn’t alone all night, not trusting anyone but himself to take care of her. And honestly, Clarke doesn’t remember anything past maybe her fifth shot of the cheapest liquor that the host had in their inventory. At least she built up some tolerance.

 

Around nine that night, Octavia and Monty meet up at Clarke’s house. Octavia, having a spare key, lets themselves in. They walk up the stairs quietly end up in front of Clarke’s room, where she and Raven are getting ready. Clarke turns around and stops mid-sentence when she catches sight of the two kids. “No,” she demands, seeing the skimpy outfit Octavia has put herself into. “Absolutely not.” Octavia has a black, lacy bralette on with high-waisted shorts that had most of her ass hanging out of it. Not to mention the heels this girl has on her feet currently.

 

“You may look hot, Pocahontas,” Raven admits to the incoming freshman, “but I agree with, Blondie here. No.”

 

“What about me?” Monty asks. All three girls look the boy over. He’s wearing a lavender button up shirt (buttoned all the way to the top), gray cardigan, and black skinny jeans. The girls look at each other and nod in agreement.

 

“You need a makeover,” Raven tells him, as they all start to surround him.

 

“You-you know I was only joking right?” He stutters out.

 

“Yeah right,” Octavia laughs out. She then turns to the blonde. “You still have some of Bell’s old stuff here?”

 

“Oh I should,” Clarke smirks as she puts her arm around Monty’s shoulders. “Come with me kid.”

 

.:*:.

 

When the four (Yes, four. Clarke finally gave in when it came to the younger two) get to the first house of the week, it’s already spilling out with people and the bass is vibrating from up the road. “Can you really believe , Murphy, is still doing this?” Clarke wrinkles her nose at the thought of the older boy.

 

“Yes,” the other three deadpan.

 

“But it’s still booze,” Raven shrugs. “Let’s go get wasted.”

 

They enter the house to find almost no room for them to stand. There’s only three options it looks like to Clarke. Drinking, dancing, and/or making out with some person. There was some Skrillex remix of some early 2000’s song playing so she went with the second option until she made her way to the drinks. And to make out with anyone, she’s going to have to be too far gone to even think of it.

 

The four make their way over to the kitchen where Murphy is playing bartender. Clarke notices that with every shot he pours, there’s a second one for himself right with it. “What can I get for you lovely people?” He slurs out, winking when he sees who they are.

 

Raven reaches over the counter to snag a bottle of tequila. She takes a long swig, not even changing her face as the burn goes down her throat. “This is all I need.”

 

“Hey,” Murphy glares at her and take the bottle back, “at least take the cheaper shit.”

 

The girl shrugs and grabs the bottle. “It’ll still do it’s job.”

 

“Give me something to start forgetting,” Clarke requests. She wants to forget the memory of her first party. She wants to forget the fact that she still has Bellamy’s clothes in her room from when he would stay over. She wants to forget that it’s been over a year since he last talked to her. She just wants to forget him.

 

“How much do you want to forget?” The older boy raises an eyebrow at her as he mixes a bunch of cheap liquor together.

 

“Everything.”

 

Monday

* * *

 

The next morning, they’re all sprawled out on each other in Clarke’s living room. How they even made it back, they have no clue. Clarke remembers a few of the drinks Murphy made for her (“Murphy’s Memory Eraser,” as he so called it) and some shots of whatever he had to offer before she was being dragged to some other house down the street. She remembers dancing with Raven and Octavia throughout the night, as well as some other people she (Most likely) knew.

 

There’s a note on the table beside her from her mother. Obviously telling her to get her act together, she’s almost an adult,  and how the coffee is already made and there’s enough there for the four of them. She feels her eyes falling heavy again, but she knows that she needs to get something in all of them. Especially the younger two. Raven is a master at drinking and hangovers, while Clarke is merely her apprentice. The other two are below even Clarke.

 

She starts a big batch of cheesy scrambled eggs and french toast, something easy and what she can do without having to make too much of a mess. When all of it is done, there’s enough to feed an army and a half. Before she makes her way back to the others, she pours herself a cup of coffee, black with a teaspoon of sugar. Just like Bellamy taught her to do and the only way she’ll take her coffee.

 

“Black?” She hears a yawn from the doorway.

 

“With a teaspoon of sugar,” Clarke nods, not even looking up at the younger girl. “Want it too?”

 

“Ew,” Octavia wrinkles her nose, “no. You and Bell are so weird.” The younger girl stands on her toes as she rummages through the cupboards. “You got any cereal?”

 

“O, do you not see the display behind you?” Clarke questions. The younger girl’s head must be feeling something because she turns it at such a slow pace. “Have as much as you need.”

 

“I smelled food,” Clarke hears Monty say a few minutes later.  When she doesn’t see him, she looks down at the floor and almost starts to crack up. “Don’t laugh,” he groans, his head falling to the floor. “It hurts.”

 

“Monty,” Clarke starts to question, “why are you on the floor?”

 

“Can’t stand, too dizzy.”

 

Clarke lets out a knowing sigh before she lifts herself back up. There’s only one person not in the kitchen with them and the blonde knows exactly what to do. She excuses herself from the room to fall right on top of the sleeping figure that’s made their way to the couch. Raven groans, trying to push her best friend off of her. When Clarke doesn’t budge, she tries again with more force. “Get off of me,” she lets out a whine that Clarke is pretty sure was supposed to be a growl.

 

“C’mon,” the blonde smacks her lightly. “Let’s sober up so we can do this again tomorrow.”

 

.:*:.

 

The three of them make their way over to the Blake’s apartment since it’s the closest to Jasper’s house, where they drop Monty off so the boys can do whatever they do. As Octavia opens the door to the apartment, she informs the other two girls how Bellamy shouldn’t be back until the next morning so if anything they can crash here. “He’s working both jobs tonight,” she tells them, looking at Clarke, knowing it’s what she’s most worried about.

 

“Whatever,” is the blonde’s responds as she pushes her way through. “I’m going to get ready.” Raven and Octavia exchange a sad look to each other. It started last year when Clarke and Bellamy stopped talking.

 

_People would come up to Clarke, asking how Bellamy was. She would tell them “Oh, he’s fine,” even when she wasn’t sure he was herself. One day Raven had asked if she’s been in touch with him because she was having a hard time contacting him. The blonde was about to break and her best friend was able to see this. “Fuck,” she lets out quietly, then drags the blonde through the school until they make their way outside. Once they get settled, Raven has her friend spill everything . By then end of it, Clarke is crying and Raven is steaming. “Just wait until I see that fucker again,” Raven growls out._

 

Raven of course told they younger Blake everything, ending in a major girl session at Clarke’s house. But now it’s not even sad anymore, it hurts. Bellamy is all around Clarke, even when he’s spacing himself out from her. She has no room to even get rid of him, so Clarke built up a wall around herself that she put all of his things and Bellamy on the other side of it. It was rare for her yesterday to bring up the fact that yes, she still has some of his things, without her turning into something she’s made herself into. Cold, hard. Even when Jake died, she never turned to this because she had The Blake’s around. Now out of those three, Clarke only has one left that she can still go to.

 

So the three get ready in Octavia’s bedroom (the larger of the two rooms), no one bringing the older Blake anymore and no one bringing up the fact that the room that was closed was opened slightly. Raven and Octavia don’t want to deal with that wrath while anyone is sober. So they’ll just wait for the morning when they’re still a little drunk.

 

.:*:.

 

Bellamy comes into the apartment when it’s nearing five the next morning to find teenagers all over his floor. There were the usuals; Monty, Jasper, Atom, and Fox. Then there was the...not so usuals; Raven and some other person he’s yet to see taking over the couches. It was pretty dark in the small apartment, so when he saw that it wasn’t Clarke but Monroe, he lets out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. It’s not like he didn’t want to see the blonde girl, it’s just that he...can’t. With that thought, he walks silently over to his room. He turns the light on to which a familiar groan replies. “Turn the light off, Bird,” Clarke yawns, not even opening her eyes. Before Bellamy turns the lights back off, he catches sight of the dual frame he keeps on his nightstand turned down.

 

It’s two pictures, one of the three - Bellamy, Octavia, and Clarke - taken as kids and the other of then taken just a couple of years back, all grown up.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt like this would've been way too long if I continued it so I decided to make it into two parts. But I hope you guys not only enjoyed this chapter, but the entire thing so far. I'm not sure where this is leading up to just yet so we're in together for the surprises I guess. But until next time! ♥


	9. Chapter 8: One Too Many (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Underage drinking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically these last two chapters are just fillers of them all getting drunk. And I have this head cannon that when Clarke is drunk she just speaks different languages. And not just speaks them but id fluent in them? So I tried it out. Plus the beginning makes absolutely no sense even to me. I apologize. But enjoy? Because I kind of had some fun writing this.

Chapter Eight: One Too Many (Part Two)

One Year Ago

Tuesday

* * *

Clarke was on her sixth beer at the third house of the night (this does not include the many shots she’s taken) and was in the middle of a very intense conversation with some person she didn’t even know. In the corner of her eye, she saw someone in black walking past them. Without missing a beat, she calls out to them, “ _L’addition, s’il vous plaît_.” When the person kept walking, she scoffs at them and mutters a “ _Grossier_ ,” under her breath. The person she’s talking to starts to speak again, causing the blonde girl to turn her attention back to them.

“And the bears!” The person exclaims excitedly over the blasting music. “Fuckin’ phenomenal.”

Clarke is just trying to find a way out of this conversation now. She may be drunk (and maybe a little high as well? She couldn’t tell but from all the smoke in the room and the hit or two she took might be catching up to her), but she’s just sober enough to know that she’s too sober to be talking about bears. Bears? She doesn’t even remember how that came up, She stands up from her spot on the couch and says to the person, “ _Je vais aux toilettes_.” She doesn’t even stay to look at the person’s face. Her mind is telling her to get out before the other person makes her pay for all of what she drank.

She’s heading outside, bumping into people, when someone pulls her aside. She lets out a yelp as some of her beer sloshes onto her arm. “ _Merde_ ,” she glares at the culprit, trying to wipe in liquid off of her. “What are you doing?” She slurs out.

“You’re speaking French again, C,” Octavia giggles out. “Where are you going?”

“I’m leaving before the check comes,” Clarke tells her seriously, eyes wide as if she’s done something horrible.

Octavia’s eyes are nearly as wide (she’s had a little too much to drink as well). “Let’s get out of here then!” The brunette grabs the older girl’s hand and drags her to the back patio where there’s less people.

Clarke keeps in a deep breath and lets out a “ _Beaucoup mieux_.” She turns to the younger girl, her blue eyes slightly hooded and glassy. “Did I do something wrong?” She asks sadly.

Octavia knows how Clarke gets when she’s had a little too much. She drinks to forget, but having too much makes her remember. She starts to remember how the people she cares most about in life end up leaving her life. Jake, Aurora, Abby, and now Bellamy. Octavia never expected him to leave any of them, let alone Clarke. She’s known from the start how he’s felt, even if he didn’t know it. So when he stopped keeping in touch with the blonde, Octavia saw how it broke her. The age gap between any of them meant nothing. They were best friends, family. But even she doesn’t know why Bellamy even dropped off the face of the Earth. He barely talks to her anymore unless it’s about her. All she can do in response in her friend’s question is wrap her up in a hug and reassure her that, no. She didn’t do anything.

“Then why did he leave?” Clarke suddenly starts to cry. Octavia takes the drink out of the blonde’s hands, sits her down on the bench and brings out her phone to message the group.

_Wrench Monkey_ , **Moonshine Monty** , **Goggles (1:15 am)**

**_911._ **

**_Clkarke neeeds oiut._ **

_Wrench Monkey_ , **Moonshine Monty** , **Goggles (1:20 am)**  
 _Where aree you noww??_

_Wrench Monkey_ , **Moonshine Monty** , **Goggles (1:20 am)**

** O see thrm. IKn the bacl. Jas and I willk go ther niw **

It’s not even a minute before Monty and Jasper burst through the back door. “We are here!” Jasper yells out, lifting his arms above his head.

“Shut up, Goggles,” Raven hits the back of his head as she walks past him earning a yelp and a laugh from Monty. She squats so she’s at Clarke’s eye level. She pets down the stray hairs coming out from the girl’s braid. “You ready to go home, Princess?”

.:*:.

Raven and Octavia were the most sober out of their small group, meaning they got to babysit Clarke as they walked back to Octavia’s apartment. The blonde was starting to sober up enough to be able to walk alone - with the two girls a few paces behind her, that is. The other two took the time to speak. “Bell should be home tonight,” the younger girl informs Raven.

“Fuck,” she says under her breath. It takes Raven a moment, her eyes trained on the girl ahead, before she tells Octavia what to do. “Knowing your brother, he’s still up watching or reading something dorky. So you go ahead up the stairs, saying something like needing to get everything out, and you warn him. We don’t need a replay of Blondie, there sleeping in his bed.”

“You knew?” Octavia smirks. “So was it you who turned the pictures down?”

Raven gives the other girl a quick look. “No, I just put her in there so she had a bed. I didn’t even reali-” Raven stops mid-sentence, knowing which picture. Both of their faces fall as they stare at the girl ahead of them. “It’s wasn’t me.”

.:*:.

Octavia goes ahead of the other four, using the lame excuse that Raven gave to her (It only worked because no one was sober enough to disagree). When she makes it to the shared apartment, she realized she forgot her key. She’s still not really sober enough to search for the spare so she just knocks on the door in stead. It’s about the tenth time she’s knocked when Bellamy finally get to the door. He was in one of his few pairs of pajama pants and an old high school t-shirt. He was either doing research or reading one of his books because his glasses were still sitting on his nose. “What the fuck, O?” He whispers, pulling her into their entrance. “It’s two in the fucking _morning_.” He then finally takes in her appearance and her sent. “Where the hell _were_ you?”

“Out,”Octavia shrugs, noticing Bellamy wrinkle his nose at her. “And I would suggest becoming a hermit.”

“And why should I take advice from a _drunk_ fourteen year old?”

She just kind of stares at him, taking in his disappointed look to the crossed arms to his straight stature. She knows the next two words she lets out are going to make the hard exterior crumble. “Because,“ she informs him, “Clarke.” His arms uncross, his back a little straighter and his face now blank.

Bellamy’s mind goes to the morning when he walked in his room to find the girl who he once called his best friend, curled up in his clothes under a thin blanket. He doesn’t think he’ll ever forget the meaning of the turned down picture. He hasn’t moved it back to how it was. He just lets it sit there, not wanting to see what was in the past. But he can’t help but remember taking the picture with two of the girls he’s ever cared the most for.

_It was winter, the snow was sticking and it was coming down hard. The school had already called, leaving a message to inform of the closing for the day. The Blake’s stayed in bed until about ten, only waking up because they were hungry. Bellamy was the first one down the stairs, as per usual. He thought he was just tired when he walked from his room because there was no way Aurora was still in the house. The smell of food had to just be his imagination. But when he got closer to the kitchen, he knew someone was there making food. He just didn’t expect it to be his best friend._

_He leans up against the doorframe, taking her all in. She’s wearing an old thermal shirt underneath Jake’s favorite shirt as well as snow pants. She’s sliding around due to her fuzzy socks and is humming some tune that was obviously stuck in her head. “You know,” Bellamy finally spoke up, causing the girl to nearly fall straight on her ass, “you do have your own house, right?”_

__

_“And I have a key to yours,” she tells him with one of her usual shrugs. She doesn’t mean to avoid his gaze, it’s just...she has things on the stove. At least that’s what she tells herself._

__

_He walks closer to her, suddenly hovering over her shoulder. “And what do I owe the pleasure of the sight of you this morning in my house?”_

__

_The two break apart when the running from the stairs gets closer and closer. Octavia slides in, arms above her head, screaming, “Snow day!” When she comes to a stop, she notices Clarke and the food she’s making. Her eyes go wide as she let’s out another scream of “Snow day!”_

__

_“And there’s your answer.”_

He hears everyone stumble into the apartment, trying to be quite. And trying was the keyword, but failing would have suited the situation just as well. He tries his hardest to not go out there to help make sure no one wakes up with a killer migraine. He physically has to stop himself when he hears Clarke right outside his door.

She doesn’t know that he’s there tonight and it needs to stay that way. He can’t hurt her more than he already has, if it’s even possible to go any further than he has. So he just shuts his lamp off so there’s no light peeking through the doorway, he puts his headphones in so he can still listen to his playlist, and just lays there on his back, waiting for sleep to take over.

.:*:.

The next morning there’s eggs, bacon, and pancakes already made and set out with a note. “ _To sober you up -B_.” Clarke is the first to wake and see the display (along with the big bottle of Aspirin). She races over to the older boy’s room to find his bed made and everything cleaned up. She walks slowly over to the window, knowing she’ll be able to see if his car is there or not. Clarke knows he’s probably at work by now, but it doesn’t hurt to see.

To see that he’s really gone.

Thursday

* * *

There’s a knock at the Griffin’s door. Clarke opens it to find Raven as her usual self. “My liver hates me,” Clarke glares at her, letting her pass through.

“Tell it not to worry,” Raven shrugs and looks around, searching for something. “Your mom home?”

“No,” Clarke responds, a little concerned when Raven says “good.”

“Don’t worry,” Raven sighs when she sees the blonde’s look. “I’m not doing anything bad. I just want to talk freely.” She heads into the living room and plops herself down on the couch. “And about your liver,” she says as she reaches over for the remote, “the only thing it’ll be processing tonight is Monty’s moonshine.”

Clarke scoffs before letting herself fall onto the cushion next to her best friend. “That’s worse for it than that cheap shit I’m pretty sure has been entering my body.”

“Ehh,” Raven almost disagrees. “But basically what I’m saying is that we’re taking a break from these shitty parties and having a night in with Monty’s creations and some wine.”

“And let me guess. It’s going to be here.”

“Well, yeah.”

Clarke glares at her again. “You know, you can’t just assume my mom won’t be home.”

Raven raises her eyebrow at the comment. “Well, is she?” she questions. When Clarke doesn’t answer right away, Raven knows the answer. “Exactly.”

.:*:.

Monety thinks about his next move. When he finally gets it after a couple of minutes, he’s jumping up and down, nearly falling over. “Never have I ever,” he giggles, “caused someone to get stitches.”

With that, the only people in the room taking a shot were the three girls. Everyone gave Octavia a look, already knowing that the person for the other two. “What?” She was the most sober out of the group. “I’m the youngest and I’m always in the way. Bell was bound to trip over me at some point.” Jasper does a drum roll as he thinks of his go around. “Okay seriously, why aren’t you people thinking when it’s not your turn?” The youngest questions. Then she remembers the blonde sipping on wine in between turns and then it comes to her. “I need to drink more,” she says more to herself.

“Okay, okay, okay,” Jasper holds out his hands, quieting the only other person talking (and also to gain a little more balance). “Never have I ever...are you ready? Never have I ever snuck out of my house.”

“Bullshit,” Clarke slurs out before taking a shot. She was the most drunk out of the group and the only one drinking the wine.

“No!” The boy practically yells at her. “I tell my parents I’m going out. Just not where I’m going or what I’m doing. Totally different.”

“Whatever,” the blonde rolls her eyes.

“Never have I ever had a whole bottle of wine to myself,” Raven teases. She lets out a loud laugh when instead of taking a shot she takes a swig out of the bottle instead. “Didn’t you say that your body hated you this morning?”

“Shut up.”

Friday

* * *

“I’m not drinking again,” Clarke groans. She’s sitting on the floor of her bathroom, lights dimmed to the point where they’re barely even on. “Thank you,” she lets out when Octavia brings in  a glass of water and  a damp facecloth.

“You keep telling yourself that, Princess,” Raven laughs when she sees the sight of her best friend. “You look beautiful.”

 **  
** “Bite me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long to get out! Literally my life is just work so it's kind of been hard. I only get a few days off during the week so when I do have off, I'm still busy trying to get other things done. SO hopefully I'll have Chapter 9 out ASAP! I love you guys!
> 
> *TRANSLATIONS*  
> L’addition, s’il vous plaît -> The check, please.  
> Grossier -> Rude.  
> Je vais aux toilettes -> I'm going to the bathroom  
> Merde -> Shit.  
> Beaucoup mieux -> Much better


	10. Chapter 9: Plans and Operations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is just a wee bit shorter than all of the rest but it seems best how it is. Enjoy!

Chapter Nine: Plans and Operations

Present Day

“Hey, Bell,” Octavia yells out from her room one morning. “I’m going with Monty to the college after school.”

Bellamy, still clad in his coveralls, appears in the doorway. “Okay? You don’t really need my permission.”

“I’m not asking,” Octavia smirks, looking at Bellamy in her mirror as she hooks the back of her necklace. She flips her hair out of under the chain and turns her attention to her brother. “I’m informing you.” He gives her a look to which she sticks her tongue out. She moves over to her bed to put her shoes on. “So,”she bring up, “you have a plan on winning Clarke’s trust back?”

“O, c’mon,” Bellamy groans.

“What?” She gives him an innocent look. “It’s a simple question.” When he avoids her gaze, it clicks. “Oh my god. You don’t have a plan!”

“Okay first of all, that’s none of your business,” he points out. “Second of all, you should leave. You don’t want to be late for school.”

“Oh yes, because I love it so much there,” she lets out sarcastically. Bellamy raises an eyebrow and looks down at his watch. “Okay, okay, okay,” she laughs as she gets up from her bed, significantly taller. “I’m leaving.”

“In those shoes?” Bellamy asks, looking down at his sister’s feet.

“They’re called ‘heels,’ Bell,” she teases as she walks past him. “I’m going to be late, remember? No way I can change out of them now.” She’s out of the door before Bellamy can even get a word in throwing an, “I’ll see you later,” over her shoulder.

_When did she grow up so much?_ He thinks to himself as he busies himself around the apartment. He still has a few more hours before he has to go back to the school for class so he hops in for a quick shower to get the filth off of him. He’ll deny it, but there’s always a little bit of singing and/or humming if something is stuck in his head. Which he can’t help considering both of his jobs are at the college and there are people playing their music at all times of the night.

Done with his shower, he walks into his room to get changed. He’s in the middle of changing when the there’s a knock at the door. Not even thinking, he opens the door without even looking to see who it might be. “Yeah?” Bellamy asks, drying his hair. When there’s no response he remembers that of course he forgot to put a shirt on and oh yeah, didn’t even button his jeans up. Like always he just smirks to play it off. Until he sees who’s at his door.

“Did Octavia leave already?” The blonde asks, standing opposite of the older Blake. Of course Clarke would be there. Looking for Octavia. Not Bellamy. Right. “Bellamy, it’s a simple yes or no question.”

“What?” he clears his throat. “Yeah. Yeah she left like half an hour ago.” His hand subconsciously goes to the back of his neck. Clarke no longer avoids his gaze and get all flustered like she would in the past. No, this time she looks him dead in the eyes and looks...bored, cold. Like how she looks at a stranger. Which to her, he is now.

_“What’s with the resting ‘bitch face,’ Princess?” Bellamy brings up one day during during lunch at school._

__

_“I do_ not _have a ‘resting bitch face,’” Clarke tries to defend._

__

_“At least not to us,” Raven shrugs as she takes the seat next to the blonde. “But everyone else? I’m pretty sure that they’re terrified of you by now.”_

__

_“Oh c’mon,” Clark laughs out. “There is no way.”_

__

_“Want me to prove it?” Bellamy now starts to get serious._

__

_“Bring it.”_

“Did you even just listen to a word I said?” Clarke questions. When Bellamy gives her a blank look, she scoffs.

“Hey,” he starts to defend himself, “that’s not fair.”

“Not fair?” Clarke lets out another scoff. “I’m not fair? Give me a call when you think it over about what's not fair.” And with that she was gone again. _Hopefully not for much longer_ , passes through his head.

.:*:.

Octavia knocks on Clarke’s dorm room, knowing that even though she’s in class, her roommate would be in. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Octavia lets out when Raven opens the door.

“What is with you people and greeting me like this?” Raven huffs out. Octavia lets out a laugh before giving one of her closest friends a big hug. “Come in, come in. I’ll give you the tour.”

“When does Clarke have class until?” Octavia asks after they settle onto the beds.

Raven looks at the clock on Clarke’s desk, reading seeing that it’s almost three. “She should be getting out soon,” she informs the younger girl. “Why?”

“I have a plan,” Octavia admits. “And you’re going to hate it.”

.:*:.

“No,” is the first thing that Raven says after she listens to Octavia.

“C’mon, Rave,” Octavia begs. “Let’s just get the rest of the group together, I’ll explain it to them, and we’ll see how it goes from there.” When all she gets is a _look_ from Raven, she lets out a soft, “Please.”

“What are you trying to get my roommate to do, O?” Clarke laughs at the doe-eyed look Octavia gives to her.

“Why didn’t you tell me that Raven was your roommate?” Octavia accuses.

“It slipped my mind,” Clarke shrugs. She dodges the pillow thrown in her direction from Raven’s bed. “Okay,” she grabs it and throws it back, “rude.” Clarke walks over to her desk and tosses the object that she had with her this morning over to Octavia. “I missed you by like, half an hour this morning. I figured you may want that. My mom bought me a new one anyway.”

In the younger girl’s hands is a small pack. “What _is_ it?” Both Octavia and Raven question.

“Just open the damn thing,” Clarke instructs, laying down on her bed with her legs behind Octavia’s back. And so she does. In the pouch is a small med kit, Clarke’s old calculator, and a key to their dorm room. “Door’s always opened here,” Clarke tells her. “But you just gotta let the know RA know you’re here. Only thing. But he’s pretty cool.”

“Should I meet the said RA?” Octavia jokes when she hears “he.”

Clarke lets out a laugh. “Not right now. You wanna tour our favorite spots on campus?”

Raven perks up. “Should we begin or end with the pool?”

.:*:.

The three girls head out to meet up with Jasper and Monty to have dinner at The Skybox (only because the waitstaff knows all of their orders; hangover and normal). They’re seated right away and have a few minutes to look over the menu. The four had realized that they were sat down in the new girl’s section so they made things a little easier on her.

Clarke waved her down (only because they came in after the dinner rush, so they were on the slower side. She wasn’t rude, she grew up having proper diner manners). After the waitress introduces herself as “Keenan,” they go around the table giving her their both their drink and food order. For Clarke a coffee and a grilled BBQ chicken wrap (“Hold the tomatoes. Please”). Raven orders a chocolate milkshake and Cajun burger. Octavia gets a strawberry malt and stuffed french toast (“Cream cheese and chocolate chip. I’m not just all about strawberries you know”). Monty and Jasper get an order of pancakes deluxe, Monty getting bacon and his eggs sunny-side up and Jasper getting bacon and his eggs scrambled. Monty sticks with just a glass of water for now and Jasper a hot chocolate (“Made with milk, not water”).

“I see you’re changing it up,” Clarke teases Monty. Only this small group would know what she’s talking about and act surprised. How could they not make things overdramatic?

“It’s still too hot for tea,” Monty shrugs making the group roll their eyes. As they wait for their drinks, they just have small conversations like how school was for Monty and Octavia since today was their first day and how the older three were liking college life so far.

“How’s Abby treating this?” Octavia asks before ripping open a stray sugar packet and dumping it into her mouth.

“She hasn’t gone a day without calling,” Raven deadpans. “And she calls very early.”

“That I cannot help,” Clarke reminds her roommate. “But y’know, if only she cared this much for the last few years, I wouldn’t mind her calling so much. But since my house is what, a few miles away? She still doesn’t take the time to visit or call at a decent time. She knows none of my classes are that early. There’s no way I’m waking up between five and six just to talk to her.”

“I’ll visit her soon,” Octavia reassures the blonde as their waitress starts to hand out their drinks. She leaves a few creamers out on the table for Clarke. “Oh!” Octavia brings her attention to Monty after taking a few sips of her malt. “Did you get to see Miller at all?”

“I was wondering the same exact thing,” Clarke admits. All of them know of the huge crush Monty has had on Bellamy’s best friend since...well since forever. Monty is easy to read while Miller on the other hand is the complete opposite. While Monty is very shy about things like his feelings and his thoughts, Miller is more straightforward. Well, that is unless he’s around Monty. His usual stotic face becomes more opened and light, but when you ask him about it he goes back to his usual self. So everyone just agrees that it’s mutual.

“I bumped into him finding Jasper’s dorm,” he admits with a blush. Monty sees Keenan and a runner behind her, both carrying trays of food. “Oh look,” he points out, turning the attention away from himself, “food’s coming.”

.:*:.

After dinner, Octavia heads off with Monty with a promise of another visit later in the week.

That night, Octavia types up an email and sends it out to five people.

To: [wrenchm0nkey@gmail.com](mailto:wrenchm0nkey@gmail.com), [natemills@gmail.com](mailto:natemills@gmail.com), [wells.jaha@gmail.com](mailto:wells.jaha@gmail.com), [magicmonty@gmail.com](mailto:magicmonty@gmail.com), [jjjordan@gmail.com](mailto:jjjordan@gmail.com)

Subject: PLANS

_As you guys know, my brother fucked up 2 years ago. And by fucked up we all know what he did. I’m not sure where you all stand, but I want both of our friends to be happy again. But those of you who know my brother, knows that he is incapable of planning just about anything, let alone how to get his best friend back. And those of you know know me, know I do._

__

_So here we go._

__

_Operation Bellarke:_

_Step 1: Get them to face each other_

_This is where I need all of you college kids. At least while Monty and I are in school. Bellamy works in the library, right? Miller you find out when he’s working and we get Clarke in there. I’ll deal with them at my apartment._

__

_Step 2: Fight_

_Okay this one seems weird, but have you even seen those two? They literally keep everything in. They need to get everything off their chest and yell. And hopefully not disturb too many people. They need to let their emotions out. So this is where Raven, Wells, Miller, and myself come in. Raven and Wells will take care of Clarke, Miller and I will deal with Bell._

__

_Step 3: Party it the fuck up_

_This is where I need all of us. We all go to a party without Bell knowing and get fucked up/separate. We all know how much Clarke has become a party animal these last few years and she promised me a college party. So of course I’ll bring Monty with me. Miller, you go off and do whatever Miller does at parties and when we’ve had a little too much, I’ll call Bell seeing if he can pick us up. And it’ll be just me and Clarke. I’ll tell him that I’m not sure where everyone went off to. I’ll act like I sent a group text and the such. But I’ll be too drunk to deal with helping Clarke, so he’ll have to._

__

_Step 4: Group hangouts_

_We all know how this’ll go about. Skybox, dorms, apartment, houses. We’ll all pitch in, finding when we’re all free and I’ll drag Bell every now and then until he comes on his own._

__

_Step 5: Let them talk it out_

_If we do this, we all have to agree that we cannot push them. We can drop hints, ask them how things have been, manipulate paths a bit. But no. pushing. Especially Clarke. She needs to actually hear from my brother about these last two years, not from anyone but him. And Bell needs to reach out. This step also goes along with Step 2 and just about all of the others as well._

__

_Step 6: Let fate work_

_This is pretty obvious. We can only do so much on our own. And if you agree with me, the two are meant to be. There’s just a kink in their way, directing each other apart for a short time._

__

_Thank you for taking your time to read this. If you’re in just let me know. We start ASAP._

__

_~O_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have this head cannon that when Bell can't get shit done, O is there behind the scenes making all the plans and having it all work out. But here we are, the beginnings of Operation Bellarke. I hope you guys like this chapter because I really enjoyed writing out the email at the end. And an FYI, the menu at The Skybox is based off of the menu at a local diner I go to. But until next time loves. Just prepare yourself for all the angst that is bound to come.


End file.
